Tag Archives: poems

Lin and the Biscuit Tin

When a young lady named Lin
Jumped out of my biscuit tin,
And I said, with a glare,
“What were you doing in there?”,
She said, “you shut me in!”.

When a young lady whose name is Lin
Jumped out of my biscuit tin
She said, with a pearcing glare,
“There are no biscuits in there,
And I have grown sad and thin!”.



My choice
To struggle in a moist
This lawn
Forlorn, screams disaster.
And after,
A shower
Will wet
And cleanse the outer man,
Yet no shower can
Kill regret,
Or make the soul
As in the beginning, whole.


Men see
A short skirt
And, attracted by legs
Think of beds
And flirt.
And me,
Being blind
What do I find
To attract
And distract
In she?
Is it personality,
Or am I
Just a regular guy,
Your average, he?

When A Socialist Named Grub

When a Socialist named Grub
Walked into a Conservative club,
And they asked, “why are you here?”,
He said, “I’ve heard about the beer.
I believe that its very good!”.

When A Literary Critic Named Lee

When a literary critic named Lee
Came round to mine for tea,
I offered him some cake,
Which he failed to take,
And then he criticised my tea!

Larkin Said We Think On Death

Larkin said we think
On death when drink
And friends are not around,
As there is nothing To distract
Us from the profound
Truth that you and I
Will die.

As I sit in this pub, alone
Drinking coffee
I reach for my phone
But Larkin stops me
Dead, and, with a clear head
I see
The truth the poet did see.


There was a young lady named Samantha
Who bought a baby pet panther.
The creature was cute
And played the flute,
And Samantha, she was a dancer.

There was a young lady named Samantha
Who purchased a baby pet panther.
The creature played on the flute,,
But I never reached the root,
Of what happened to that Samantha . . .

A young lady whose name is Samantha
Works as an erotic dancer.
When the men bother her
She gives them a glare,
So I keep well away from Samantha!