Tag Archives: humour

Ling Who Likes to Dance and Sing

A young lady named Ling

Likes to dance and sing.

In the depths of the dark

The dogs howl and bark

And neighbours throw things at Ling!

I’ve Just Met a Very Old Monk

I’ve just met a very old monk

Who stood in the pub getting drunk.

He said, “sweet barmaid Claire

Let us have an affair!”.

Have you seen a black eyed monk …?

Lord Kettle

My great friend the late Lord Kettle

Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.

Then he made some tea,

Which he shared with me,

In a place that’s known as Settle.

Polyamory

You praised polyamory.

As for me

I am not polyamorous

But you, being glamorous,

I found time

To rhyme

And discuss polyamory

With thee …

Lou

When a young lady whose name is Lou

Said, “watch out as I’m coming for you!”.

And I said, “are you a ghoul,

She said, “no! you stupid old fool!

I’m Lou, and you’ve just stolen my shoe!”.

 

Procrastination

When a young lady named Kate

Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.

I said, “I beg your pardon!

But I am doing this garden!

But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.

A Careless Young Lady Named Mar

A careless young lady named Mar

Is known for losing her bra.

While her friend Coral

Is really quite moral

Though I’ve sometimes found her bra …

Alibi

A man whose name was Wood

Said my poetry was no good.

In the forest dark

His end was stark.

But my alibi it was good …

Decorum

I know a young lady named Rose

Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.

But when we go shopping

She does wear 1 stocking.

Which I think shows decorum by Rose!

Chancer

I awoke with a gorgeous lap dancer

Who said, “sir, you are a chancer!”.

I said, “dear Miss Follit

Have you seen my wallet?”.

She said, “sir, I’m also a chancer!”.