When a young lady named Mable
Danced nude on the vicar’s table,
I said to Miss Hocking,
“That girl’s behaviour’s shocking!”
She said, “Yes! She’ll break that table!”
Vicar’s Table
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Tag Archives: humour
Crocodile
A crocodile on a log.
I sat. My dog nearby
And thought
Perhaps
I ought
To run away
To live another day
As the creature might be starving –
But it was merely carving,
A log,
Me, and my dog
On a spring day
Guy with a Tie
There once was a guy with a tie
Who was plagued by a very large fly.
When a girl called Yvette
Said, “is he your pet?”
He swatted that fly with his tie!
Miss Prism
When a beautiful young lady named Miss Prism
Said, “the sun he has long since risen”.
I said, “the moon
Will come out soon –
And have you ever been good Miss Prism …!”
A Young Lady of Japan
I know a young lady from Japan
Who married my best friend named Dan.
On their wedding day
He passed away
So I left with that girl for Japan …
The Actress
I know a very pretty young actress
Who said, “can I try your new mattress?”
When I said, “shall we play?”
She replied, “we did that yesterday!
Today I’ll just try out your new mattress!”
Vera
I met a young lady named Vera
Who said all the people fear her!
I said to Sky,
“Please tell me why?”
She shivered and said, “go ask Vera!”
Grandiose
I shall compose
A poem grandiose
To love and lust
And how I just
Pricked my nose
On yonder rose!
Lost Glasses
When a Marxist who had lost his glasses
Said, “religion is the opiate of the masses”.
And I said, “How so?”
He said “I don’t know!
And comrade have you seen my glasses!”
Buccaneer
There was a young lady named Fay
Who met with a gentleman one day.
He said, “I’m a buccaneer!”
Which Fay found quite queer,
As he worked in a field of hay!
K Morris - Poet 