Tag Archives: laughter

When A Young Lady Wearing Heels

When a young lady wearing heels
Spoke to me of dodgy deals,
I said, “I am moral.
But let us not quarrel.”
And then she lost her heels!

I Met A Girl In Heels

I met a girl in heels
Swimming with some very cute seals.
I said, “you’ll ruin those shoes!”.
But, after lots of booze,
I joined her in my heels!

Ban It

When a young lady named Janet
Said, “government should certainly ban it!”.
And I said, “I agree.
Do please have some tea”.
She said, “tea! I’d ban it!”.

My Old Friend Miss White

As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some young women
Have their minds on sinning”.
Then she winked at me last night!

As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some men
Take up their pen.
But it’s too hot for that tonight!

Writ On A Most Ancient Grave

On a most ancient grave
Is writ,
“Here lies the great Dave.
His wit
Was razor-sharp.
Yet, for all his art,
He ended in this grave!”.

A Young Lady Fond Of Bananas And Custard (2)

A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Kept a bird that’s known as a bustard.
She lost her pyjamas
Whilst in the Bahamas,
And got covered in some tasty egg custard.

A Young Lady Fond Of Bananas And Custard

A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Got confused with a jar of strong mustard.
She ran up the stairs
Crying, “my apples and pears!”.
Which was strange, as she just wanted custard!

A Young Lady Named Lin

A young lady named Lin
Was fond of dropping in.
She fell through the ceiling
Whilst the vicar was kneeling.
And now he’s marrying Lin!

My Cleaner

I once had a very nice cleaner
Who went by the name of Justina.
She was rather witty
And really quite pretty.
And got fired by my girlfriend Christina!

Sonnet

When a young lady wearing a bonnet
Said, “do you like my new sonnet?”.
I looked at it real hard
And said, “you’re such a card.
As your sonnet it resembles a bonnet!”.