Tag Archives: laughter

Lord Kettle

My great friend the late Lord Kettle

Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.

Then he made some tea,

Which he shared with me,

In a place that’s known as Settle.


When a young lady named Kate

Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.

I said, “I beg your pardon!

But I am doing this garden!

But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.

A Careless Young Lady Named Mar

A careless young lady named Mar

Is known for losing her bra.

While her friend Coral

Is really quite moral

Though I’ve sometimes found her bra …


A man whose name was Wood

Said my poetry was no good.

In the forest dark

His end was stark.

But my alibi it was good …


I know a young lady named Rose

Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.

But when we go shopping

She does wear 1 stocking.

Which I think shows decorum by Rose!

A Brutal Young Man Named Keith

A brutal young man named Keith

Threatened to knock out my teeth.

But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,

Which got him in a fluster,

Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!

Squire Pleasant

My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant

Invited me to go and shoot peasant.

I went with my spouse

And found peasants and grouse,

And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!

I Once Met a Very Old Horse

I once saw a very old horse

With his clubs on the golf course.

When I said “good day”,

He said to me, “nay!”,

That rude and most cantankerous old horse!

The Pretty Ear Lobe

When I found a pretty ear lobe
Protruding from my fine old bedroom wardrobe
I said, “Miss Moore
Are you quite sure
That you are looking for your globe?”.

Honey and Her Money

A young lady who calls herself Miss Honey
Has a bank account full of money.
She advertises on the internet
With a girl named Yvette.
Aint it funny they have all that money …