My great friend the late Lord Kettle
Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.
Then he made some tea,
Which he shared with me,
In a place that’s known as Settle.
Lord Kettle
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Tag Archives: laughter
Procrastination
When a young lady named Kate
Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.
I said, “I beg your pardon!
But I am doing this garden!
But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.
A Careless Young Lady Named Mar
A careless young lady named Mar
Is known for losing her bra.
While her friend Coral
Is really quite moral
Though I’ve sometimes found her bra …
Alibi
A man whose name was Wood
Said my poetry was no good.
In the forest dark
His end was stark.
But my alibi it was good …
Decorum
I know a young lady named Rose
Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.
But when we go shopping
She does wear 1 stocking.
Which I think shows decorum by Rose!
A Brutal Young Man Named Keith
A brutal young man named Keith
Threatened to knock out my teeth.
But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,
Which got him in a fluster,
Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!
Squire Pleasant
My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant
Invited me to go and shoot peasant.
I went with my spouse
And found peasants and grouse,
And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!
I Once Met a Very Old Horse
I once saw a very old horse
With his clubs on the golf course.
When I said “good day”,
He said to me, “nay!”,
That rude and most cantankerous old horse!
The Pretty Ear Lobe
When I found a pretty ear lobe
Protruding from my fine old bedroom wardrobe
I said, “Miss Moore
Are you quite sure
That you are looking for your globe?”.
Honey and Her Money
A young lady who calls herself Miss Honey
Has a bank account full of money.
She advertises on the internet
With a girl named Yvette.
Aint it funny they have all that money …
K Morris - Poet 