Tag Archives: humorous verse

Guy with a Tie

There once was a guy with a tie

Who was plagued by a very large fly.

When a girl called Yvette

Said, “is he your pet?”

He swatted that fly with his tie!

Miss Prism

When a beautiful young lady named Miss Prism

Said, “the sun he has long since risen”.

I said, “the moon

Will come out soon –

And have you ever been good Miss Prism …!”

A Young Lady of Japan

I know a young lady from Japan

Who married my best friend named Dan.

On their wedding day

He passed away

So I left with that girl for Japan …

The Actress

I know a very pretty young actress

Who said, “can I try your new mattress?”

When I said, “shall we play?”

She replied, “we did that yesterday!

Today I’ll just try out your new mattress!”

Vera

I met a young lady named Vera

Who said all the people fear her!

I said to Sky,

“Please tell me why?”

She shivered and said, “go ask Vera!”

Lost Glasses

When a Marxist who had lost his glasses

Said, “religion is the opiate of the masses”.

And I said, “How so?”

He said “I don’t know!

And comrade have you seen my glasses!”

Buccaneer

There was a young lady named Fay

Who met with a gentleman one day.

He said, “I’m a buccaneer!”

Which Fay found quite queer,

As he worked in a field of hay!

Ark

I awake to rain again.

Should I build an ark?

If I do the shark …

My thoughts grow far too dark …

 

A bear in my bed

Would keep me from sleep

For fear that it would eat  …

 

I have no dread of the pussycat,

But what of the mouse and rat …

For the poor pussycat

Must be fed …

 

I do like dogs

Yet fear they would gobble up frogs!

 

I imagine the crocodile’s smile

As he lies, just like a log

Waiting for some cat or unfortunate dog

To pass by …

 

On second thoughts, perhaps I

Should wait for the rain to stop

For I can not chop wood in rain …

Strawberries and Cream

When a young lady eating strawberries and cream

Went and told me about her weird dream,

I said to her, “Lee,

That seems strange to me!”

As she covered me in strawberries and cream!