Tag Archives: humorous verse

1 Meter Plus?

He sought bliss
In a kiss.
But, “Corona”, she cried.
“Your kiss is denied!”.

“What about a hug”,
He said.
“That is also denied”,
She replied,
“for a bug
May hide inside
A hug”.

“So is love dead?”,
He said.
“Perchance we may dance
1 meter apart.
But, to be safe
We must not embrace.

You have my heart”,
Said she.
“But, let us discuss,
Perhaps, for you and me
It really ought to be
1 meter plus?”.

A Goat Named Jane

Whilst swimming in a deep castle moat
A goat ate my brand new coat!
And when I did complain
She said, “I am Jane.
And you are the butt of this joke!

Whilst Sitting in a Builder’s Hut

Whilst sitting in a builder’s hut
With a mongrel named mr Mutt,
A goat called Hocking
Ate my girlfriend’s stocking.
And then, she ate that hut!

‘Light and Shade; serious (and not so serious) poems’ posts on Instagram

I have just uploaded four posts to Instagram of my book ‘Light and Shade; serious (and not so serious) poems’. The photographs show me holding the print and Braille editions of my book, whilst others show me stroking my dog, Trigger.

Book Description:
Life is full of light and shade. For to be human is to experience joy, beauty, love, pain and laughter. This collection reflects all facets of human experience. hence the title ‘Light and Shade; serious (and not so serious poems)’.

You can purchase ‘Light and Shade; serious (and not so serious) poems’ here for the UK or here for the US.

When A Naughty Young Lady Of Bangkok

When a naughty young lady of Bangkok
Lost a brand new shoe and sock.
An elderly lady named Ann
Said, to her husband Dan,
“That is not my shoe and sock!”.

When A Young Lady Wearing No Pyjamas

When a young lady wearing no pyjamas
Said, “Sir, have you seen the bananas?”.
I said, “I must stress
That I like your undress.
But you really should wear some pyjamas!”.

There Was A Young Lady Of Leicester

There was a young lady of Leicester
Who worked as a stock market investor.
She grew rich on shares
In both apples and pears,
So I married her, posthaste, in Leicester!

When Miss Emily Wrote Wuthering Heights

When miss Emily wrote Wuthering Heights
They said, “that rhymes with tights.
A young lady named Hocking
Removed a fine, silk stocking,
As I sang, “oh sweet delights!”.

A Beautiful Young Lady Climbing the Stairs

A beautiful young lady climbing the stairs
Said, “I suffer from very bad nightmares”! .
I said, “my dear miss Elane,
That must cause you great pain.
Shall we dine on apples and pears?”

When a beautiful young lady climbing the stairs
Said, “I’m afflicted by the most horrible nightmares!”.
I said, “my dear miss elane,
That must cause you great pain.
And your bedroom is up these here stairs?”

Leigh Who Needed Money

When a young lady named Leigh
Said, “I’ll be honest with thee.
My sweet darling honey
I need some money”.
I said, “go ask a bee!”.