Tag Archives: humorous verse

A Young Lady Fond Of Bananas And Custard (2)

A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Kept a bird that’s known as a bustard.
She lost her pyjamas
Whilst in the Bahamas,
And got covered in some tasty egg custard.

A Young Lady Fond Of Bananas And Custard

A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Got confused with a jar of strong mustard.
She ran up the stairs
Crying, “my apples and pears!”.
Which was strange, as she just wanted custard!

A Young Lady Named Lin

A young lady named Lin
Was fond of dropping in.
She fell through the ceiling
Whilst the vicar was kneeling.
And now he’s marrying Lin!

My Cleaner

I once had a very nice cleaner
Who went by the name of Justina.
She was rather witty
And really quite pretty.
And got fired by my girlfriend Christina!

Sonnet

When a young lady wearing a bonnet
Said, “do you like my new sonnet?”.
I looked at it real hard
And said, “you’re such a card.
As your sonnet it resembles a bonnet!”.

When A Short-Sighted Gentleman Wearing Glasses

When a short-sighted gentleman wearing dark glasses
Said, “I like to date pretty lasses”,
A young lady eating buttered toast
Said, “you are addressing my gatepost!
And it doesn’t like gentlemen wearing glasses!”.

In Truth I Lie

There was a young man named Guy
Who said, “in July I never lie.
But, come the August,
Then lie I must.
In truth, I’m a lying young guy!”.

There Once Was A Man Who, Whilst Drinking

There once was a man who, whilst drinking
Slurred, “this here boatit is surely sinking”.
A young lady named Claire
Said, “sir, take great care!”,
And the seagulls they cried, “you are sinking!”.

When My Dog Found A Stocking

When my dog found a stocking
Belonging to beautiful young miss Hocking,
The vicar looked grim
And spoke of sin.
But the dog found nothing shocking!

When my dog found a stocking
Belonging to beautiful young miss Hocking,
The vicar looked grim
And spoke of sin.
And her boyfriend he came knocking!

When A Gorgeous Young Lady Named Frida

When a gorgeous young lady named Frida
Said, “I’d make a most excellent breeder!”.
I said, “lets have fun
In this hot summer sun.
But please, can we forget the breeder!”.