Category Archives: books

Whilst Frequenting My Most Favourite Gentleman’s Club

Whilst frequenting my most favourite gentleman’s club
I fell into a rather large bathtub.
A girl with pretty eyes
Said, “sir, please don’t apologise.
And have you met Chief Constable Grub?”

I Once Had a Very Strict Lover

I once had a very strict lover
Who said, “you shall have no other!”.
That naughty Miss Leigh
Was fond of 3,
And I ended by marrying her mother!

I Walk at a Fair Old Lick

I walk at a fair old lick
And pass many elderly men and women
With their walking stick.
And, should impatience try to master me
I recall that December
Comes to us all.
And find within me a temporary humility.

When A Pretty Young Lady Named Fay

When a pretty young lady named Fay
Said, “all the men they run away!”.
Her friend Miss Bland
Said, “I don’t understand,
As you are a beautiful vampire Fay!”

In Early December

In early December
I heard
The dawn bird
And did remember
Another year
Will soon end.

My friends
Are growing older.
I hear
Pretty young women
Ask me
About family matters.

There will be
No more sinning.
Merely hot tea
And matters
Of domesticity
For me.

Kate Who is Fond of the Word Undulate

I know a young lady named Kate
Who is fond of the word undulate.
That old rake Paul
Says, “many women fall.
But Miss Kate she likes to undulate!”.

I Haven’t Heard the Night Bird for Some Time

I haven’t heard
The night bird
For some time.
Yet his cry
Survives in rhyme
And will outlast
The final blast
That ends
My mind.

When a Wicked Young Lady Named Spink

When a wicked young lady named Spink
Indulged with me in her little kink,
That moral Miss Hocking
Found it so shocking
That she turned to very strong drink!

There Once Was a Fox Named Mark

There once was a fox named Mark
Who lived in a very dark park.
A hen called Gwen
Visited him at 10
And was wined and dined by Mark!


As for me
I do not agree
With the inevitability
Of progress. Good poetry
And friends
Are ends
In themselves.
Give me
Oak bookshelves
Laden with treasures.
These are the pleasures
I would have
To make me glad.