An expert in quick dressing,
A pretty lass
Does her hair,
With no sign of stressing,
In his mute glass.
A man’s confession
Of sin, may outlive him.
And her profession
Will continue on,
Though she is gone.
When a young lady wearing heels
Spoke to me of dodgy deals,
I said, “I am moral.
But let us not quarrel.”
And then she lost her heels!
I met a girl in heels
Swimming with some very cute seals.
I said, “you’ll ruin those shoes!”.
But, after lots of booze,
I joined her in my heels!
When a young lady named Janet
Said, “government should certainly ban it!”.
And I said, “I agree.
Do please have some tea”.
She said, “tea! I’d ban it!”.
I have felt love, and lust.
And coughed, in the early morning.
A warning
Of dust.
As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some young women
Have their minds on sinning”.
Then she winked at me last night!
—
As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some men
Take up their pen.
But it’s too hot for that tonight!
On a most ancient grave
Is writ,
“Here lies the great Dave.
His wit
Was razor-sharp.
Yet, for all his art,
He ended in this grave!”.
A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Kept a bird that’s known as a bustard.
She lost her pyjamas
Whilst in the Bahamas,
And got covered in some tasty egg custard.
A young lady fond of bananas and custard
Got confused with a jar of strong mustard.
She ran up the stairs
Crying, “my apples and pears!”.
Which was strange, as she just wanted custard!
A young lady named Lin
Was fond of dropping in.
She fell through the ceiling
Whilst the vicar was kneeling.
And now he’s marrying Lin!
