Category Archives: poems

When I Found a Young Lady Bathing

When I found a young lady bathing
Who said, “sir, I am but faffing”.
And I said “leave my bathtub!”.
She said, “give me a rub”.
And my wife was far from laughing!

When a Young Lady of Great Beauty

When a young lady of great beauty
Said, “sir, it is your bounden duty
To pay my expenses.
There will be recompenses”.
I said, “beauty it rhymes with duty!”.

The World is Going Mad

The world is going mad.
I would
Go to the pub
With friends. But the pub
Is closed
And heaven only knows
When it will reopen.

The world is going mad.
I would choose to lose
Myself in a book,
But one can not shut
Oneself forever, away.

The world is going mad.
I would eat in a cafe
But a takeaway
Is all I can have.
And the BMA say
That diners in restaurants need masks.

The world is going mad.
We are told
That lovers (from a different household)
May not play at home.
Draconian laws, never prevented drawers
From falling down.

The world is going mad.
The pompous frown
And call for yet more unenforceable law.
While the police smile a weary smile,
And dream of real crime.

The world is going mad.
So I will spend my time
In rhyme.
For that is no offense.
But let there be no pretence
That rhyme
Makes the world less mad.