Tag Archives: funny poetry

I Found a Young Lady Named Mable

I found a young lady named Mable
Cavorting on my fine old dining table.
Being drunk on my booze
She had nothing to lose,
As her clothes lay under the table!

My Uncle Flow

While visiting my most favourite old uncle Flow
I said, “uncle, do you happen to know
Why you have a girl’s name?”.
He replied, “my dear nephew Jane,
My real name is Louisa, as you know!”.

Ed and Wicked Lou

A policeman whose name is Ed
Was found handcuffed to his bed.
While wicked Lou
Wielded her shoe.
It was all consensual Ed said!

The Importance of Tipping

When a waiter by the name of Kipp
Said, “sir, do remember to give a tip!”.
I said, “I’m reliably told
That a horse called Gold
Is a certainty at Newmarket this afternoon Kipp!”

Whilst Sitting in My Most Favourite Bar

Whilst sitting in my most favourite bar
I met a young lady named Marr.
Being both willing and able
She danced on my table.
But the vicar he went too far!

When a Young Lady Serving Curry and Rice

When a young lady serving curry and rice
Said, “this establishment is no place for vice!”.
Her friend Miss Hocking
Searched for a stocking.
And the spice it was really quite nice!

Awaking in a Pool Full of Seals

Awaking in a pool full of seals
I saw a young lady in heels.
When I said, “am I drunk!”,
She replied, “as a holy monk,
You should avoid pools full of seals!”

Whilst Walking Through Thunder and Heavy Rain

Whilst walking through thunder and heavy rain
I met a young lady named Jane
Who said, “oh kindly fella
Do lend me your umbrella!”.
That Jane she must be perfectly insane!

Miss White and the Gentleman’s Club

A young lady known as Miss White
Lost her stockings and dress last night
In an exclusive club
Called the Gentleman’s Rub.
And I did write all last night …

The Crocodile

Whilst swimming in the great river Nile
I met with a hungry old crocodile.
When he opened his jaws wide
I slipped a big bell inside.
Now he chimes, which makes people smile!