Tag Archives: funny poetry

A Most Enterprising Young Lady Named Maddy

A most enterprising young lady named Maddy

Is looking for a rich sugar daddy.

When I had money

I was her honey.

But now I’ve been dumped by Maddy …

A Most Forgetful Young Lady Named Lou

A most forgetful young lady named Lou

Has a habit of losing a shoe.

My dear old wife

Is waving a knife,

And my dog he’s found Lou’s shoe …

There Once Was a Short Sighted Hairdresser

There once was a short sighted hairdresser

Who confessed to the great Father Confessor.

He said to her, “Bess,

It is right to confess.

But you are addressing my Welsh dresser!

Miss Heart and My Art

I know a young lady named Heart

Who poses nude for all my art.

She is petite and pretty

And lives in the city,

And the vicar he loves my art …

Ling Who Likes to Dance and Sing

A young lady named Ling

Likes to dance and sing.

In the depths of the dark

The dogs howl and bark

And neighbours throw things at Ling!

I’ve Just Met a Very Old Monk

I’ve just met a very old monk

Who stood in the pub getting drunk.

He said, “sweet barmaid Claire

Let us have an affair!”.

Have you seen a black eyed monk …?

Lord Kettle

My great friend the late Lord Kettle

Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.

Then he made some tea,

Which he shared with me,

In a place that’s known as Settle.

Polyamory

You praised polyamory.

As for me

I am not polyamorous

But you, being glamorous,

I found time

To rhyme

And discuss polyamory

With thee …

Lou

When a young lady whose name is Lou

Said, “watch out as I’m coming for you!”.

And I said, “are you a ghoul,

She said, “no! you stupid old fool!

I’m Lou, and you’ve just stolen my shoe!”.

 

Procrastination

When a young lady named Kate

Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.

I said, “I beg your pardon!

But I am doing this garden!

But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.