Tag Archives: funny poetry

I Once Met a High Court Judge

I once met a High Court judge
Who said, with a wink and nudge,
“I believe you know Claire?”.
I said, “take care sir,
Lest I sue you for slander, judge!”.

The Dangers of Sin

When a gorgeous young lady named Lin
Warned me of the dangers of sin,
Priggish Miss Coral
Called me immoral.
And then I went home with Lin …

As I Lay in Bed Last Night

As I lay in bed last night
I heard the heels of Miss White.
I said, “Come in”.
And my wife Lin,
Threw me out last night with White!

There Once Was a Girl Who Wore Shoes

There once was a girl who wore shoes
Who was far too fond of strong booze.
They would say to her, “Rose,
The winter wind it coldly blows.
Perhaps you should wear more than just shoes!”.

Claire and Miss Hocking

An attractive young lady named Claire
Is enjoying a most sordid affair.
Whilst naughty Miss Hocking
Has mislaid a stocking …
And I am busy with Claire.

Young Women and Fine Wine

A young lady drinking my fine wine
Said, “your company is far from divine!
But, give me more
And, I feel sure,
That fine wine will make you divine …!”

A Most Beautiful Young Lady Named Leigh

A most beautiful young lady named Leigh
Has composed an erotic poem about me.
Her verse is real great
And I just can’t wait,
As she’s invited me round for tea …

Lady Lake

When the elderly and great Lady Lake
Said, “sir, you are a terrible rake!
And as for Miss Hocking,
Please give back her stocking!”.
I said, “your ladyship makes a mistake!”.

There Once Was a Rather Famous Old PM

There once was a rather famous old PM
Who, on hearing the chimes of Big Ben,
Turned to his Special Adviser,
And said to her, “Liza,
Let us swing from that great pendulum again …”.

Heather

When a young lady who calls herself Heather
Spoke to me of the pleasure of leather.
I said, “on the moor
The stags they do roar.
And young men, they take pleasure in heather”.