My great friend the late Lord Kettle
Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.
Then he made some tea,
Which he shared with me,
In a place that’s known as Settle.
Lord Kettle
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
Polyamory
You praised polyamory.
As for me
I am not polyamorous
But you, being glamorous,
I found time
To rhyme
And discuss polyamory
With thee …
Lou
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Said, “watch out as I’m coming for you!”.
And I said, “are you a ghoul,
She said, “no! you stupid old fool!
I’m Lou, and you’ve just stolen my shoe!”.
Procrastination
When a young lady named Kate
Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.
I said, “I beg your pardon!
But I am doing this garden!
But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.
A Careless Young Lady Named Mar
A careless young lady named Mar
Is known for losing her bra.
While her friend Coral
Is really quite moral
Though I’ve sometimes found her bra …
Alibi
A man whose name was Wood
Said my poetry was no good.
In the forest dark
His end was stark.
But my alibi it was good …
Decorum
I know a young lady named Rose
Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.
But when we go shopping
She does wear 1 stocking.
Which I think shows decorum by Rose!
Chancer
I awoke with a gorgeous lap dancer
Who said, “sir, you are a chancer!”.
I said, “dear Miss Follit
Have you seen my wallet?”.
She said, “sir, I’m also a chancer!”.
A Brutal Young Man Named Keith
A brutal young man named Keith
Threatened to knock out my teeth.
But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,
Which got him in a fluster,
Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!
Squire Pleasant
My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant
Invited me to go and shoot peasant.
I went with my spouse
And found peasants and grouse,
And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!
K Morris - Poet 