Tag Archives: nonsense

On Going To Bed Last Night

On going to bed last night
I met 2 young ladies in white.
When I gazed in surprise
They batted their eyes
And said, “do you have lodgings tonight . . .?”.

On going to bed last night
I met 2 young ladies in white.
When I gazed in surprise
They said, “we shall tell you no lies,
We are vampires who haunt the black night . . .”.

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I Know A Newspaper Hack

I know a newspaper hack
Who goes by the name of Jack.
He wrote a story about me
And an erotic dancer called Leigh,
I swear I’ll pay him back!

When A Man Whose Name is Grub

When a man whose name is Grub
Recited his poems in my local pub,
And he fell drunk on the floor
I called out for more,
Although his verse I never understood!

There Was A Young Man Named Frank

There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I am washing my hair
And there is deep water down there!
So I’d rather not walk the plank!”.

There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I shall obey your command,
But we are on dry land,
So what is the point of the plank?”

I Know A Young Barmaid Named Page

I know a young barmaid named Page
With whom I try to engage.
But when I ask her to dance
She says, “you have no chance,
As your bar bill you haven’t paid!”.

I know a young actress named Page
With whom I tried to engage.
But when I asked her to dance
She said, “you have no chance,
Then she threw me off the stage!”.

There Was A Young Lady Named Lizzie

There was a young lady named Lizzie
Who was always so terribly busy.
Well that’s what she said,
But she was often in bed,
That mendacious young lady named Lizzie!

A Young Lady Who Is Extremely Sinful

A young lady who is extremely sinful,
Having imbibed more than a skinfull,
Invited me back to her pad
But, being a very good lad
I declined that young lady most sinfull!