There once was a kindly old squire
Who was famous for his fine fire.
His old wife Jane
Always liked to complain.
And the young housemaid stoked the fire …
There was a young lady named Fay
Who composed a fine poem each day.
She was religious about that
And wore a large hat,
Though not when she went to pray!
When a young lady named Nell
Out of a high window fell,
She landed on Dan
(A most handsome man).
I’ve already said that Nell fell …
On my way home
I touched the stone
Of my local church.
And longed to stay
With the singing birds
On this summer evening.
I have oft heard
The birds singing
And regretted leaving.
I envy them
For, unlike men
They do not weep.
For they see not
The final sleep.
Knowing that man must die
Have the beauty of birdsong,
Which does not last long
When the talented and beautiful Miss Steed
Asked me to fulfil her great need,
Of course I stayed
And together we played –
On that fine old piano of Steed!
I know a young lady named Louise
Who keeps a hive full of bees.
They live in her house
With her long-suffering old spouse.
And their dog is full of fleas!
When I met a young lady in heels
Who spoke to me of late night deals,
I said, “dear Miss White
I don’t have time tonight.
Besides, I am not that fond of eels!”.
On entering my highly select gentleman’s club
I was greeted by pretty Miss Grubb.
We discussed the weather
With gorgeous Miss Heather –
The food there is really quite good …
A guy may buy
A young lady’s eye
And capture her heart
In his immortal art.
But those who buy
Know art may lie.
A rich old man near to his death
Said, “I worry about my young wife Beth”.
I said, “my dear Murray
Please cease all your worry.
There is life with me after your death …”.
I know a young man named Green
Who is active on a certain scene.
I’ve heard that at night
Green turns into Miss White.
But that, I have not yet seen!