Tag Archives: nonsense verse

There Once Was a Very Fat Guy

There once was a very fat guy
Who was extremely fond of a pie.
He would eat it all day
And when he sadly passed away
They baked that guy in a pie!

My Lady of Ill Repute

I met a lady of ill repute
Who played all night on my flute.
We had a bit to drink,
But its not what you think!
As that flute I bought in Beirut!

Ice

I know a young lady named Ice
Who works in the field of vice.
I like to help Bella
Down in the pub cellar
To pick up some very nice ice.

I Once Had a Lover Named Glover

I once had a lover named Glover
Who said she would have no other.
But I caught her with Moriah
And the entire male voice choir,
And a vicar who knows my mother!

Lou Who Composed a Poem About Her Shoe

There once was a girl named Lou
Who composed a poem about her shoe.
But as it didn’t quite fit
They said, “change it a bit”.
So Lou changed her poem and shoe!

Sinful Lin

I know a young lady named Lin
Who is gorgeous and full of sin.
I once met the old Devil,
Who is not on the level.
But he’s got more morals than Lin!

Whips and Chains

A young lady with whips and chains
Is well known for her superior brains.
We indulge in conversation
About this great nation,
As I admire that young lady’s brains …!

When a Careless Young Person Named Mole

When a careless young person named Mole
Slipped and fell into an open manhole,
A rat called Matt
Ate his new hat,
And the Devil he swallowed Mole’s soul!

Miss Laugher

When a pretty young lady named Laugher
Asked me to go and bath her,
My wife Kate
Just couldn’t wait
To drown me and pretty Miss Laugher …!

Maude Who Makes Love on an Ironing Board

I know a young lady named Maude
Who makes love on an ironing board.
Her husband Ted
Prefers the bed.
But I’m fond of Maude’s ironing board …