Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Loitering

As I loitered in a dark alley

I got arrested by police constable Sally.

I was buying fine art

From a girl called Heart –

But the jury believed police constable Sally …!

A Young Lady Wearing 100 Bras

A young lady wearing 100 bras

Said, “I shall fly to Mars!”.

But those bras being tight

She stayed home all night,

With a Martian eating chocolate bars!

Guy Who Works in AI

I met a young man named Guy

Who works in the field of AI.

His programme  writes verse

Which grows steadily worse.

But some say its written by Guy!

Forgetful Rose

I met a young lady named Rose

Who said, “I am fond of crows.

I left my perfume

In this changing room.”

I said, “it’s here with your clothes …!”.

The Poisoned Pen

When a young lady named Henrietta

Sent me a poisoned pen letter,

I said to Miss Gale,

“Hasn’t she heard of email?

Its much quicker than a letter!”.

The Vicar’s Bed

When a naughty young lady named White

Climbed into the vicar’s bed last night,

His sweet mistress Claire

Said to Miss Flair,

“Was it you who invited Miss White?”.

 

Gale and the Curtain Rail

There was a young lady named Gale

Who swung from the pub’s curtain rail.

When they said, “you are strange!”.

She said, “in yonder old grange,

We all swing and drink strong ale!”.

 

There Was a Young Man Named Giles

There was a young man named Giles

Who walked around wearing nothing but tiles.

When he fell with a crash,

All the tiles they went smash,

And the girls wore very big smiles …!

Gale the Blackmailer

There was a young lady named Gale

Who made all her money through blackmail.

When she blackmailed Lee

While out at sea

It ended in a large killer whale …

When a Young Lady Known as Hurd

When a young lady known as Hurd

Went and used a very bad word,

A vicar called Hocking

Said, “that is shocking!

But do cover me in lemon curd …”.