Tag Archives: nonsense verse

When Miss Emily Wrote Wuthering Heights

When miss Emily wrote Wuthering Heights
They said, “that rhymes with tights.
A young lady named Hocking
Removed a fine, silk stocking,
As I sang, “oh sweet delights!”.

A Beautiful Young Lady Climbing the Stairs

A beautiful young lady climbing the stairs
Said, “I suffer from very bad nightmares”! .
I said, “my dear miss Elane,
That must cause you great pain.
Shall we dine on apples and pears?”

When a beautiful young lady climbing the stairs
Said, “I’m afflicted by the most horrible nightmares!”.
I said, “my dear miss elane,
That must cause you great pain.
And your bedroom is up these here stairs?”

Leigh Who Needed Money

When a young lady named Leigh
Said, “I’ll be honest with thee.
My sweet darling honey
I need some money”.
I said, “go ask a bee!”.

Curvaceous

When I dated a young lady most curvaceous
Who said, “good sir, you are very sagacious!”.
And I said, “thank you so much.
With young ladies, I always go dutch”.
She said, “I can be more than flirtatious …!”

Neef the Thief

There once was a man named Neef
Whose occupation was that of professional thief.
He threatened a lady from Bristol
Who, with her sword and pistol,
Brought that thief named Neef to grief!

Awaking in the Depths of the Night

Awaking in the depths of the night
I saw a girl dressed in white.
When I called her a ghoul
She said, “you stupid old fool!
I’m a vampire who likes to bite!”.

A Young Lady Eating Hot Buttered Toast

A young lady eating hot buttered toast
Said, “I am a most terrible ghost!”.
She had large feet
And really could eat!
And she stole my hot buttered toast!

Moral Purity

I met a group of young women
Who said, “sir, do you like sinning?”.
When I said, “I am pure!”.
They said, “are you quite sure?”,
And those women just couldn’t stop grinning!