Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Gale the Blackmailer

There was a young lady named Gale

Who made all her money through blackmail.

When she blackmailed Lee

While out at sea

It ended in a large killer whale …

When a Young Lady Known as Hurd

When a young lady known as Hurd

Went and used a very bad word,

A vicar called Hocking

Said, “that is shocking!

But do cover me in lemon curd …”.

The Fine Old Bureau

There was a young lady named Flow

Who lived in a fine old bureau.

When they said, “what an antique!”,

She would awake from her sleep

And say, “no, I’m young Miss Flow!”.

When a Young Man Eating a Trifle

When a young man eating a trifle

Got shot by an old-fashioned rifle,

A policeman named Ted

Said, “he is dead!

Which is serious, and no mere trifle!””.


When a Young Lady Reading a Thriller

When a young lady reading a thriller

Accused me of being a serial killer,

I said, “Miss Hocking!

Your suggestion is shocking!

But I admit to writing that thriller!”.

Miss Rose and My Bedclothes

When I found naughty Miss Rose

Sleeping nude under my new bedclothes,

I said, “my dear,

The bishop draws near,

You’d better stay under those bedclothes!”.

The Lonely IT Guy

There once was a very lonely IT guy

Who fell in love with an AI.

It’s name being Fay

They married in May

In the cloud as it floated by.

Miss Wong’s Sad Song

There was a young lady named Wong

Who sang many a very sad song.

When they said, “sing something glad!”,

She whacked them with her handbag,

Which was very wrong of Miss Wong!

When a Pretty Young Lady Named May

When a pretty young lady named May

Knocked on my door on Valentines Day,

And my dear old wife Claire

Screamed, “are you having an affair!”,

I turned to my sweet mistress Fay …

My Valentine’s Night

When a nubile young lady named White

Invited me out on Saint Valentine’s Night,

Miss Nell came as well

With the most Reverend Bell,

And the waitress she wore Angel Delight!