Tag Archives: kevin morris author

I Found a Young Lady Named Mable

I found a young lady named Mable
Cavorting on my fine old dining table.
Being drunk on my booze
She had nothing to lose,
As her clothes lay under the table!

I Thought I Had Lost

I thought I had lost
The key to my clock.
When I found it again
It’s old tick tock
Continued on. but time
He pauses not.

(The above poem first appeared in my June Author Newsletter, which can be accessed here https://mailchi.mp/37a9976abe1c/kevins-june-author-newsletter).

My Uncle Flow

While visiting my most favourite old uncle Flow
I said, “uncle, do you happen to know
Why you have a girl’s name?”.
He replied, “my dear nephew Jane,
My real name is Louisa, as you know!”.

Ed and Wicked Lou

A policeman whose name is Ed
Was found handcuffed to his bed.
While wicked Lou
Wielded her shoe.
It was all consensual Ed said!

The Importance of Tipping

When a waiter by the name of Kipp
Said, “sir, do remember to give a tip!”.
I said, “I’m reliably told
That a horse called Gold
Is a certainty at Newmarket this afternoon Kipp!”

Whilst Sitting in My Most Favourite Bar

Whilst sitting in my most favourite bar
I met a young lady named Marr.
Being both willing and able
She danced on my table.
But the vicar he went too far!

When a Young Lady Serving Curry and Rice

When a young lady serving curry and rice
Said, “this establishment is no place for vice!”.
Her friend Miss Hocking
Searched for a stocking.
And the spice it was really quite nice!

Awaking in a Pool Full of Seals

Awaking in a pool full of seals
I saw a young lady in heels.
When I said, “am I drunk!”,
She replied, “as a holy monk,
You should avoid pools full of seals!”

Whilst Walking Through Thunder and Heavy Rain

Whilst walking through thunder and heavy rain
I met a young lady named Jane
Who said, “oh kindly fella
Do lend me your umbrella!”.
That Jane she must be perfectly insane!