Tag Archives: kevin morris author

As I Boarded a Brand New Train

As I boarded a brand new train
I met with a girl named Jane.
We went real fast
Then, at long last,
The driver decided to start that train!

Of Heels and Seals

There once was a young lady in heels
Who danced on the sand with the seals.
As she romped on the shore
The men called out “more, more!”.
And the rest is known by those seals!

Rose Who Wore Tight Clothes

There once was a young lady named Rose
Whose habit was to dress in tight clothes.
When the vicar’s sweet daughter, Louise
Asked about the birds and bees,
Rose she burst out of those tight clothes!

There Once Was a Man Named Jame

There once was a man named Jame
Who said, “you will never achieve fame!”.
His end was sad,
And really quite bad.
And the trial it brought me fame!

Yvette the Vet

I met a young lady named Yvette
Who said she works as a vet.
As I got down on all fours
And I showed her my sharp claws,
I wondered, is she really a vet?

Flogging a Dead Horse

When a young lady on a riding course
Said, “you can not flog a dead horse”.
And I said, “that would be cruel!”.
She called me a stupid old fool!
That girls in love with me of course!

When My Friend, Who Comes from Kent

When my friend, who comes from Kent
Said, “I have all my rent spent
On beautiful young women,
Who’s profession is sinning!”.
I said, “I’m not paying your rent!”.

Lina the Car Thief

When a naughty young lady named Miss Lina
Decided to steal my battered old Ford Cortina,
A policeman called Guy
Said, “I’d rather die,
Than be seen driving that battered old Cortina!”.

Whilst Drinking the Finest Wine Over Dinner

Whilst drinking the finest wine over dinner
I was approached by a beautiful sinner.
She said, “will you join me
For delicious hot crumpet and tea?”.
I said, “I’ve not yet finished dinner!”.