Tag Archives: funny poem


As I loitered in a dark alley

I got arrested by police constable Sally.

I was buying fine art

From a girl called Heart –

But the jury believed police constable Sally …!

A Young Lady Wearing 100 Bras

A young lady wearing 100 bras

Said, “I shall fly to Mars!”.

But those bras being tight

She stayed home all night,

With a Martian eating chocolate bars!

Forgetful Rose

I met a young lady named Rose

Who said, “I am fond of crows.

I left my perfume

In this changing room.”

I said, “it’s here with your clothes …!”.

The Poisoned Pen

When a young lady named Henrietta

Sent me a poisoned pen letter,

I said to Miss Gale,

“Hasn’t she heard of email?

Its much quicker than a letter!”.

Gale and the Curtain Rail

There was a young lady named Gale

Who swung from the pub’s curtain rail.

When they said, “you are strange!”.

She said, “in yonder old grange,

We all swing and drink strong ale!”.


My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend

I am very surprised that my friend

Has gone and bought a robot girlfriend.

She is extremely pretty

And really quite witty,

So she is quite unlike my friend!

There Was a Young Man Named Giles

There was a young man named Giles

Who walked around wearing nothing but tiles.

When he fell with a crash,

All the tiles they went smash,

And the girls wore very big smiles …!

Gale the Blackmailer

There was a young lady named Gale

Who made all her money through blackmail.

When she blackmailed Lee

While out at sea

It ended in a large killer whale …

When a Young Lady Known as Hurd

When a young lady known as Hurd

Went and used a very bad word,

A vicar called Hocking

Said, “that is shocking!

But do cover me in lemon curd …”.

The Fine Old Bureau

There was a young lady named Flow

Who lived in a fine old bureau.

When they said, “what an antique!”,

She would awake from her sleep

And say, “no, I’m young Miss Flow!”.