Tag Archives: funny poem

There Once Was a Very Fat Guy

There once was a very fat guy
Who was extremely fond of a pie.
He would eat it all day
And when he sadly passed away
They baked that guy in a pie!

My Lady of Ill Repute

I met a lady of ill repute
Who played all night on my flute.
We had a bit to drink,
But its not what you think!
As that flute I bought in Beirut!


I know a young lady named Ice
Who works in the field of vice.
I like to help Bella
Down in the pub cellar
To pick up some very nice ice.

When the Wife of Vicar Ted

When the wife of vicar Ted
Was found in another man’s bed,
It caused great consternation
Among the vicar’s congregation.
And the bishop turned bright red …!

A Young Lady of Pleasure

I know a young lady of pleasure
Who says her name it is Heather.
I was warned by mum
To avoid the hot sun,
But she didn’t say anything about Heather …!

I Once Had a Lover Named Glover

I once had a lover named Glover
Who said she would have no other.
But I caught her with Moriah
And the entire male voice choir,
And a vicar who knows my mother!

Lou Who Composed a Poem About Her Shoe

There once was a girl named Lou
Who composed a poem about her shoe.
But as it didn’t quite fit
They said, “change it a bit”.
So Lou changed her poem and shoe!

Sinful Lin

I know a young lady named Lin
Who is gorgeous and full of sin.
I once met the old Devil,
Who is not on the level.
But he’s got more morals than Lin!

Whips and Chains

A young lady with whips and chains
Is well known for her superior brains.
We indulge in conversation
About this great nation,
As I admire that young lady’s brains …!

When a Careless Young Person Named Mole

When a careless young person named Mole
Slipped and fell into an open manhole,
A rat called Matt
Ate his new hat,
And the Devil he swallowed Mole’s soul!