Tag Archives: funny poem

The Dissolute Young Man and His Lute

There once was a man most dissolute

Who liked to play on his lute.

When the young women came round

You would hear a sweet sound

As he skillfully played on his lute!

Leigh Who Has Composed a Poem All About Me

A young lady whose name is Leigh

Has composed a poem all about me.

Her verse is so bad

That its driven critics mad,

And now they are all blaming me …!

Lou Who Wore 1 Sock and 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who wore 1 sock and one shoe.

On the other foot

She carefully put

A clock which matched with Lou’s shoe!

There Once Was a Police Constable Named Rose

There once was a police constable named Rose

Who was well known for wearing plain clothes.

A man called Matt

Wore only his hat,

And got arrested by Rose in plain clothes …!

Wet Through

When a young lady named Lou

Said, “we are all wet through!”,

Lou and Miss Rose

Took off their clothes,

Then the vicar he married those two!

Being Known

As I strolled through the great Crystal Palace

I met with a young lady named Alice.

When she gave me a wink

And said, “me and Miss Spink?”,

I said, “I’m known here in Crystal Palace …!.

Keith the Thief

There was a young man named Keith

Who was known as a prodigious thief,

Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking

Tied him up with their stockings,

Which delighted that young man named Keith!

 

 

There was a young man named Keith

Who was known as a prodigious thief,

Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking

Tied him up with their stockings,

Which caused that thief Keith to cease!

There is Deep Mud

There is deep mud

In the park again.

As I wade through flood

I sigh

And cudgel my poor brain

To explain

Why we poets romanticise

This thing called rain!

 

When a Wicked Young Lady Named Moriah

When a wicked young lady named Moriah

Threatened to set my beard on fire,

The good barber Dave

Suggested a good shave.

Then he shaved both me and Moriah!

As I Walked Home One Dark Halloween

As I walked home one dark Halloween

I heard a most ear piercing scream.

I said to Miss Black

“We must not look back!”.

But she’d vanished with a piercing scream!