Tag Archives: funny poem

There Once Was A Poet From Gwent

There once was a poet from Gwent
Who, having all his meagre earnings spent
In his local sauna,
On pretty Miss Lorna.
Composed a poem about paying the rent!

The Fryer’s Hair Dryer

When I met an extremely wizened old fryer
Drying my wet lawn with his hair dryer,
And I said, “why dry this grass?”.
He said, “sir, all things must pass”.
And I wept over that fryer’s hair dryer!

Sally

I know a young lady named Sally
With whom I’m more than just pally.
She often visits my house,
But not with her spouse.
As with him I’m not that pally!

Wicked Miss Lou

When a wicked young lady named Lou
Tied me up to poor Miss Sue,
I said to Pearl,
“You’re a good girl”.
But that girl she joined in too!

Loose Morals

When a young lady riding a goose
Said, “my morals are so incredibly loose”,
The men gave a great roar.
But the goose said, “no more!
Young lady, your morals are too loose!”.

When A Vicar Named Warner

When a vicar named Warner
Walked into a backstreet sauna,
And religious Miss Fay
Said, “shall we pray?”.
That greatly confused vicar Warner!

When I Met A Group Of Young Women

When I met a group of young women
Intent on a good time and sinning.
I said, “my dear girls
Take care of your pearls!”.
They answered, “sir, we lost them whilst sinning!”.

The Knocking

When a young lady named Miss Hocking
Was awoken by the sound of knocking,
She opened her eyes
And said, in surprise,
“Vicar! Why are you wearing my stocking!”.

A Most Rakish Old Gentleman Known As Paul

A most rakish old gentleman known as Paul.
Said, “a happy new year to you all.
Especially all you young women
Who do nothing but sinning!”.
He’s a most dissolute old gentleman is Paul!

When A Young Lady Wearing Pink Slippers

When a young lady wearing pink slippers
Offered me some very old kippers,
And I said, “are they safe?”,
She enfolded me in her embrace.
And gave me slippers with those kippers!