I heard my entry phone go.
I said, “hello?”
He said, “Its Tesco”.
I replied, “its not me!”
After, I thought I ought
To have said, “its not for me”.
For I am, of course “I” or “me”.
But, you see
I was not thinking of my identity
At the time,
For my mind
Was caught up in rhyme!
There was a young lady of Peru
Who was famous for losing a shoe.
One hot day in May
They found it in Bombay,
Which was strange as she’d never left Peru!
A young lady known as Miss Nicola
Invites all the gentlemen to tickle her.
My friend Heather
Dresses in leather
And no gentlemen dares to tickle her …
I am dating a young lady named Lorna
Who works in some kind of sauna.
When I say, “what goes on there?”
She refers me to her colleague Claire –
Who refers me back to Miss Lorna …
When a dominant young lady named Fay
Said, “lets all indulge in role play!”
And severe Miss Jane
Produced a large cane,
I made my excuses that day …!
When a young lady wearing just shoes
Said, “I want to be your poetic muse!”
I said to her, “Rose!
You are wearing no clothes!”
She said, “that’s how you like your muse …!”
A young lady who is extremely nice
Is known for her love of vice.
She is fond of cake
And loves a good steak.
And now lets discuss that girl’s vice …
A young man sitting at his desk
Said, “your poems are so very Kafkaesque!”
When I said, “how so?”
He said, “I don’t know!
But The Trial will come nonetheless!”
I know a young man named Matt
Who wears a very fine hat.
He sits on the ground
And says nothing profound.
But he wears a very fine hat!
I know a young lady named Lou
Who got stuck in a pot of glue.
When I said, “you’re a snob!”
She called me a yob!
She’s always been stuck up has Lou!
K Morris - Poet 