There once was a poet named Lyme
Who taught his dog how to rhyme.
In the depths of dark
He would howl and bark
And his dog would recite a rhyme.
Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme
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Tag Archives: funny poems
There Once Was a Bishop Known as Ted
There once was a bishop known as Ted
Who, being found with his mistress in bed
Said, “if I had time
I would most certainly resign!
But its so very comfortable in this bed!”
Humorous Verse
I have always enjoyed humorous verse. As a child I derived great pleasure from Edward Lear’s “The Owl and The Pussycat” and other similar verses. Then when I began to first write poetry, besides my serious work, I also penned (and continue to compose) humorous poems, 2 of which can be found below.
When a young man named Gus
Quoted Thomas Malthus on the bus,
A few fell asleep
While others did weep,
But the driver he didn’t fuss!
—
When a close friend of my girlfriend
Invited us to spend a dirty weekend,
We entered the deep wood
And fell in the mud,
But lets return to our dirty weekend!
—
In 2023 I published a selection of my humorous verses, “My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend”, which is available in Kindle and paperback from Amazon and can be found here, My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses – Kindle edition by Morris, K, Morris, K . Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com..
I Once Met Cupid with his Bow
I once met Cupid with his Bow
And said, “there’s this gorgeous girl I know.
Her name is Miss Lee.
Please make her love me!”.
So he shot Miss Lee in her toe!
Phlegmatic Matt
There was a phlegmatic young man named Matt
Who was fond of stroking his cat.
When a ghoul appeared
And most wickedly sneered,
He said, “its always a pleasure to chat”.
When a Lady High in a Tree
When a lady high in a tree
Said. “come here and sit with me”.
And I feared I would fall
She said, “o! don’t you recall,
That you fell long ago with me …!”
The Joys of the Birch
When a young lady sitting on a church
Said, “I hear your fond of the birch”,
The good vicar Ted
Thought of his bed,
And the bishop he thought of the birch!
Cultured Miss Marr
A cultured young lady known as Marr
Has a job in a rough bar.
When she quotes Shakespeare
The customers all cheer
And dance with Marr on the bar!
There Once Was a Poet Named Moat
There once was a poet named Moat
Who traveled the seas with a goat.
That beast wrote verse
Which grew steadily worse.
But it wrote better poetry than Moat!
A State of Grace
A young lady whose name is Lorna
Has a job in a sordid sauna.
When I walk passed that place
With that sweet girl Miss Grace,
I remember we met in that sauna …
K Morris - Poet 