Tag Archives: funny poems

When My Neighbour, Whose Name Is Rose

When my neighbour, whose name is Rose
Walked the streets whilst wearing no clothes,
Prim and proper Miss Hocking
Said, “your behaviour is shocking!”.
So I gave Rose back her clothes!

When I Found Beautiful Miss Cath

When I found beautiful Miss Cath
Soaking in my brand new bath,
I played on my violin
A tune of sweet sin.
But all she did was laugh!

When I Saw My Friend Major Jones

When I saw my friend Major Jones
Firing his gun at some old bones,
And I said to him, “Sir,
Where is your dear wife Clair?”.
He pointed his gun at those bones.

My Old Friend, Whose Name Is Binder

My old friend, whose name is Binder
Has a job as a clock winder.
A young lady called White
Walks the streets at night.
Where she often meets my friend Binder.

Bishop Higgle

“What is sin?”,I asked Bishop Higgle.
And, as I did, a girl’s giggle
Came from his bedchamber.
And blonde Miss Granger
Did, so sweetly say,
“When the cat’s away
The mice will play!”.

Miss Alice

I know a young lady named Miss Alice
Who lives close to the great Crystal Palace.
She is often very bad
Which makes the priest sad.
And I’m off just now to see Alice.

There Once Was A Man Named Lyme

There once was a man named Lyme
Who, determined to conquer Old Father Time,
Covered up all the clocks
With his girlfriend’s new frocks.
And Old Father Time laughed at Lyme.

A Young Woman Wearing Bright Pink High-Heels

A young woman wearing bright pink high-heels
Went in to swim with the seals.
Being drunk on strong booze
She lost both her shoes.
Or so I’m told by those seals!

When A Beautiful But Dissolute Young Lady Named Ria

When a beautiful but dissolute young lady named Ria
Came round to mine and drank lots of beer,
A kindly old monk
Said, “you are drunk.
Let me help you to bed, young Miss Ria”.

When A Young Lady Dressed In Clear Plastic

When a young lady dressed in clear plastic
Said, “my morals they are really very elastic”.
I said, “its true
That mine stretch too.
And you are hot in that clear plastic!”.