Tag Archives: funny poems

Nell and the Old Church Bell

There once was a girl named Nell
Who swung from an old church bell.
The bell sounded loud,
Which wowed the crowd.
And the bishop he fell for Nell.

Miss Ann

When a young lady named Miss Ann
Said, “you are a very wicked man!”.
And I said, “should I desist?”.
She said, “no, please do persist!”.
She’s a naughty young lady is Ann!

Mandy and Her Brandy

I met a young lady named Mandy
Who was drunk on fine old brandy.
When she said, “I like Ealing,
And this evening I am feeling …”.
I said, Mandy! Stop drinking that brandy!

Whilst Visiting the Great Count Dracula

Whilst visiting the great Count Dracula
I said, “your view is truly spectacular.
But your breath is quite foul,
And those wolves they do howl!
I regret I must leave Castle Dracula!”.

When My Friend Whose Name is Katie

When my friend whose name is Katie
Said, “I want to discuss something weighty”.
I said, “you’re not fat”,
And she really liked that.
But I felt bad lying to Katie!

There Once Was A Poet From Gwent

There once was a poet from Gwent
Who, having all his meagre earnings spent
In his local sauna,
On pretty Miss Lorna.
Composed a poem about paying the rent!

The Fryer’s Hair Dryer

When I met an extremely wizened old fryer
Drying my wet lawn with his hair dryer,
And I said, “why dry this grass?”.
He said, “sir, all things must pass”.
And I wept over that fryer’s hair dryer!

Sally

I know a young lady named Sally
With whom I’m more than just pally.
She often visits my house,
But not with her spouse.
As with him I’m not that pally!

My Birthday

When a silver-haired poet known as Kevin
Said, “I grow ever nearer to sweet heaven
As I turned 52 today”,
A young lady named Fay
Said, “you’re drunk and its not yet 7!”.

Wicked Miss Lou

When a wicked young lady named Lou
Tied me up to poor Miss Sue,
I said to Pearl,
“You’re a good girl”.
But that girl she joined in too!