Tag Archives: humour

As I Walked Through The Churchyard At Midnight

As I walked through the churchyard at midnight
I met a young lady dressed in white.
When I screamed in fear
She shed a bitter tear,
As she was a vampire unable to bite!

True Blue

When a young lady by the name of Miss Lou
Said, “sir, do you know that I am true blue?”.
And I said, “will I find
That you have a Conservative mind?”.
She said, “I fell in this blue paint with you!

I Know A Young Lady of Spotless Reputation

I know a young lady of spotless reputation,
Who is a credit to this great nation.
She is very petite
And whenever we meet,
Night shrouds this great nation, and her reputation.

A Young Lady Wearing A Corona Virus Mask

A young lady wearing a Corona virus mask
Said, “some people they take me to task
For shopping whilst nude,
Which prudes think rude.
But at least I am wearing a mask!”.

When I Met A Young Lady Wearing Only High-Heels

When I met a young lady wearing only high-heels
Who showed me her pond full of pet seals.
I played on my flute
Which she thought real cute.
And she danced in her heels with those seals.

Clubbing

A young lady who had just turned 16
Said, “I’ll go out on the clubbing scene”.
So she donned her mum’s dress.
But a club bouncer called Bess
Said, “sorry darling, but you still look 16!”.

A Young Lady Whose Conduct Was Truly Licentious

A young lady whose conduct was truly licentious
Said, “my friends they all think me pretentious!
I have sheets of pure satin
And my cries are in latin.
And my lovers they all find me licentious!”.

When A Man By The Name Of Paul

When a man by the name of Paul
Said, “I have seen many an empire fall.
And I have a burning desire
For that inocent young lady Moriah”.
I said, “Moriah, she fell long ago Paul!”.

A Review of My Collection of Poetry, “Light and Shade”

I was delighted to receive the following review of my collection of poems, “Light and Shade: Serious (and Not So Serious) Poems” on Goodreads:

“A good little book of poems, some humorous and others more for contemplation. A lot of the funny ones had me chuckling to myself.”

To read the review in full please visit this link, https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3430943490?book_show_action=true&from_review_page=1.

You can find “Light and Shade” here, https://www.amazon.co.uk/Light-Shade-serious-not-poems-ebook/dp/B08B4X3GVX/.

Strawberries and Cream

Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
But gave in to strawberries and cream.

Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
And the vicar fell into the cream!