When a young lady wearing fashionable shoes
Got drunk on some very strong booze,
They said to her, “dear Rose,
May we suggest that some clothes
Would go well with those fashionable shoes!”
There once was a rake named Howe
Who liked to dress as a cow.
He tempted young farming women
Into all kinds of sinning.
So the farmers they skinned that cow!
A most dissolute young lady named Miss Heart
Said, “we’re going to hell in a handcart!”.
But the road being bumpy
And the Devil’s custard lumpy,
I said, “me and this handcart must part!”
When a pious young lady named Miss Flow
Said, “I hear that your morals are low!”.
I wiped away a tear
And said, “Flow, my dear,
Do you know your standing on my toe!”
When a gorgeous young lady named Sky
Offered me some very hot apple pie,
I said, “yes please”.
But she did tease.
So instead I got some hot Sky!”
When my girlfriend, the beautiful Miss Lou
Said, “there’s a wicked side to you!”.
Our housemate Miss White
Turned out the light,
And said, “may I join you 2?”
A young lady with plenty of money
Calls me her sweet and her honey.
Her name it is Jane
And she’s so very plain.
But, dear reader, she’s loaded with money …!
When a young lady sitting on a box
Said, “sir, you are a sly old fox!”
I replied, “dear Lin
I’ve committed no sin.
It’s his lordship whose been wearing your frocks!”
When a young lady who comes from Burton
Came round and swung from my bedroom curtain,
And I said, “don’t fall!”
My cynical old friend Paul
Said, “she fell long ago swinging in Burton!”
Whilst dancing on my most favourite bar
I was joined by barmaid Miss Marr.
All the glasses went flying
And old ladies started crying.
And they still haven’t found that bra!
