Tag Archives: humorous poetry

When a Policeman by the Name of Lyme

When a policeman by the name of Lyme
Said, “I’m arresting you for a serious crime”.
And I said, “what I have done
Was done purely and simply for fun”,
He said, “sir, that was a terrible rhyme!”.

When the Tender and Lovely Dawn

When the tender and lovely dawn
Entered my bedchamber this very morn,
I gazed at the sky
And pondered deeply on why,
Dawn tramples all over my lawn!


“The Girl Who Wasn’t There And Other Poems” Is Soon To Be Available In Print

I am in the process of publishing a print edition of “The Girl Who Wasn’t There And Other Poems”, which is currently available as an ebook in the Amazon Kindle store. The print edition of “The Girl Who Wasn’t There” will be available direct from me at a cost of £5. If you would like to order a print copy of “The Girl Who Wasn’t There” please send an email to newauthoronline (at) gmail dot com (the address is rendered in this way to defeat spammers). Below is “Two Voices”, one of the poems to be found in my latest collection:

PB with text 01 small

Two Voices


You talk to me of lambs gambolling, of ramblers ambling, through fields green, beside the meandering stream.

You speak to me of verdant bowers, where lovers while away the hours, in love’s young dream.

I tell you of an urban street, where the gale buffets and people battle to retain their feet.

I impart to you the wind’s loan moan, as I wander home alone, in weather bleak.


Links To Purchase The Ebook:


For the United Kingdom please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/girl-wasnt-there-other-poems-ebook/dp/B0155KSKOC/ref=cm_cr_pr_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8. For the rest of the world please go to http://www.amazon.com/girl-wasnt-there-other-poems-ebook/dp/B0155KSKOC/ref=cm_cr_pr_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8


A Gentleman Suitor To His Beloved

A Gentleman Suitor To His Beloved




“My darling, let us sit down upon the grass.

Though the firmament fall, my love for thee tis sure to last.

Other men may betray, but my heart is steadfast.

Let us be quick my sweet, for I must dash”.



The Lady’s Response To Her Suitor



“Sweetheart, the ground is wet and cold,

To recline upon it would quite ruin my clothes.

The heavens show no sign of falling,

Besides, I hear mama calling”.


A 5 Star Review Of “Dalliance; A Collection Of Poetry And Prose”

I was delighted to receive the following 5 star review of my book, “Dalliance; A Collection Of Poetry And Prose”:

“Each page has a short, often poignant, poem, prose or story that seem to reach inside and grasp the heart”. (For the review please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R301LNR40266YO/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00QQVJC7E).

Thank you to the reviewer, Chris Graham for the above review. To download “Dalliance” please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dalliance-collection-poetry-prose-Morris-ebook/dp/B00QQVJC7E/ref=cm_rdp_product (for the UK) or http://www.amazon.com/Dalliance-collection-poetry-prose-Morris-ebook/dp/B00QQVJC7E/ref=cm_cr_pr_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8 (for the US and rest of world).