My friend whose name is Claire
Has married many an elderly millionaire.
Their ends where all bad
But Claire is not sad,
As she’s just become a billionaire!
Tag Archives: rhyming poetry
My Dating Experience
When I joined a website called Virgin Dating
The ad said, “its time to stop waiting!”.
I have had many a date
With a young lady named Kate.
And, my dear readers, I am still waiting …
My New Girlfriend’s Shoes
Whilst drunk on very cheap booze
I borrowed my new girlfriend’s shoes.
I walked all around
This familiar old town.
And lost my girlfriend and shoes!
I make Her Mine
I make her mine
With a kiss.
But no,
It is not so.
For her mind
Runs free
Of me.
And behind
All the gloss,
Hides innocence
Half lost.
Izzy
I know a gorgeous lady named Izzy
Who, on account of being incredibly busy
Sent her rather plain cousin Kate
To meet me for a date.
But I had arranged to see Izzy!
Paul the Anarchist
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
And he wrote lots of stuff.
And governments took no notice of Paul.
—
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
Until governments said, “that’s enough!
You have bored us into submission, Paul!”.
When A Young Lady Named Miss Doyle
When a young lady named Miss Doyle
Said, “have you seen my massage oil?”.
I said, “your behaviour is truly shocking!
I can hear the good vicar knocking!
Ah, that’s why you want the oil!”.
When An Elderly Spinster Named Jean
When an elderly spinster named Jean
Called me a wicked old libertine.
My new friend Miss Hocking
Said, “I’ve lost my stocking.
And Jean, what is a libertine?”.
Sex Positive
“I am sex positive”, she said”,
As she lay upon the bed.
She teased
And pleased.
And made his day.
This was all okay,
As she
Was truly
“Sex positive. While he,
Paid a little fee
Hot Buttered Toast
As I strolled home at a little after midnight
I met with a young lady dressed in white.
She sat on a post
Eating delicious hot buttered toast.
And she offered me some at just after midnight …