Tag Archives: humorous verse

Preparing For Poetry Reading

I will be spending much of this weekend preparing for my first poetry reading, which will take place on Wednesday 10 February, (http://newauthoronline.com/2016/01/29/poets-corner/). My colleague and fellow poet, Toby Wheeler has sent me a list of poems he will be reading and it now falls to yours truly to knuckle down and make my own selection! There being so many poems to choose from makes my task difficult. Where I to read all the poems I’m minded to recite the hour allotted to the reading would pass by without Toby having an opportunity to showcase his excellent poetry. Consequently I need to be ruthless as regards my selection criteria.
I intend to read poems ranging from the humorous through to the dark and brooding. I have already determined that the first poem in my latest collection, “Lost In the Labyrinth Of My Mind” which is entitled, appropriately enough “Lost will be read. I am also inclined to recite “Autumn Rain” which can be found in “Dalliance; A Collection Of Poetry And Prose”. Turning to the humorous verse, I am minded to read my poems “She Stood Upon Her Head” and “Shall I Compare Thee”, both of which appear in “Lost In The Labyrinth”.
If all goes well, the event will be videoed and if things go swimmingly the video camera will actually work and an edited version of the reading will appear here!

(For “Lost In The Labyrinth Of My Mind” please go to http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01AF5EPVY?keywords=Lost%20in%20the%20labyrinth%20of%20my%20mind&qid=1452670393&ref_=sr_1_1&s=digital-text&sr=1-1. For “Dalliance; A Collection Of Poetry And Prose” please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dalliance-collection-poetry-prose-Morris-ebook/dp/B00QQVJC7E. For a selection of Toby’s poetry please go to http://www.writeoutloud.net/profiles/tobyw.

The Hungry Hound

The below poem is dedicated to my guide dog Trigger, and my generous colleagues who, from time to time sacrifice their lunch to a hungry canine.

I am Trigger.
My stomach is bigger
Than you think.
Your lunch will be gone in the blink
Of an Eye.
Then away I fly.
Should you ask “who stole my lunch?” I reply
“Nnot I
But, dear reader, I lie …!..
I have been known to eat plastic.
My reach is elastic.
You think your food Safe?
My friend brace
Yourself for a shock
For I will gobble the lot!
Be it ever so hot!

Shady Sadie

There was a young lady called Sadie
With a past more than a little shady.
I said “Let us marry
And no longer tarry”.
She made reply
With a scornful sigh
“I would rather die
Than to your arms fly.
Besides, I long ago did marry
A man named Barry
And I am married still
To your best friend Bill”!

Christmas Dinner (Humour, not to be taken seriously)

Happy Christmas to all my followers. I wish you all a peaceful festive season and much joy for the coming year.
The below poem was, needless to say written with my tongue firmly in my cheek and should not be taken seriously. I in no manner whatsoever condone animal cruelty.

I shall sit upon a chocolate log
As I stuff my faithful dog.
I shall the turkey walk
As my thought
Revolves around
A question most profound
Where should I the stuffing put
As regards my loyal mut!

“The Light Of Dawn And Other Poems” By Victoria (Tori) Zigler – Book Review

“The Light Of Dawn” by Victoria (Tori) Zigler is a highly enjoyable and thought provoking collection of poetry. The poems range from verse dealing with the passing of the seasons through to poems about the natural world and more humorous verses. In the latter category “The Finest Young Man From New York” made me smile as did the author’s other humorous poems.
As regards the more serious poems in this collection, Victoria’s “Time Stopped” particularly resonated with me,
“I swear this night won’t end
No Matter what I do.
I wish the time would change
Like I want it to”.
We have all, I believe been in the self-same situation of wishing that the clock would move on allowing us to leave a given situation, only to feel that time has become stuck and we must, forever remain trapped.
The author’s poem, “Appearance” also struck me. In “Appearance” she asks why people worry so much about how people look. Why indeed? Are there not far more important issues in the world we should concern ourselves with.
The collection contains several poems dealing with fairies. Children will love these as will adults with an interest in folk tales.
For “The Light Of Dawn” by Victoria Zigler please visit the following link, https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/291563.

Kevin

The Bad Poet (Humour)

He tried to make his verse rhyme

But it became worser and worser.

‘Twas perverse

To see

Dog rhyme with tree.

He cudgelled his brains to produce poetry fine

And was convinced beer rhymes with wine.

Inspiration from the great poets he took

And was certain Emily Dickinson

Was Brontae’s sister

And Heathcliff could not resist her.

Finally from the top of Wuthering Heights

He jumped

Hitting the moors with a plop

But his bad poems

Just would not halt.

It was his very great fault

He did not decease

And leave his readers in tranquillity!

 

Family Life

The hoary

old Tory

finds glory

in the upper house.

his socialist spouse

drinks champagne

and cudgels her brains

about the renationalisation of trains.

Their Communist girl

Her head in an idealistic whirl

Buys expensive clothes

For she knows

That money on ancient trees grows.

And so the world goes!

 

 

A Poet To A Young Maiden And The Girl’s Reply

“Let us pile high the fire my dear.

Come you near

and warm the cockles of your heart.

Let us practice love’s art.

Draw closer and sit upon my knee.

Let us make free

like the amorous swan

for time rolls on

and desire, ‘tis soon gone.

 

“Sir

My mother warned me to beware

Of poets who pretty verses spin

Lest they lead me into sin.

Good night to you noble sir

I must be off and wash my hair”.

Heaven And Hell

To float on a cloud

As angels sing loud

Hymns

about the redemption of sins

Would, I think

Drive me to drink.

The devil would wink

And invite me to sink

To his abode below.

Should I choose to go

There would be good cheer.

bitter beer

and a warm fire, forever near