Me: “Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed Trigger”.
“Trigger: “I only agreed because you promised me a large marrow bone”.
“Me: “I don’t remember making any such promise!”
Trigger: “No bone, no interview”.
Me: “OK, you win but I’m not happy about this!”
Trigger: “Just get on with it will you. I can see a fox in the garden below. I want to go and play with him”.
Me: “You know foxes don’t appreciate your idea of play”.
Trigger: “All I want to do is play chase the tail. Really I can’t imagine why that silly fox objects to me wanting to catch him by the tail”.
Me: “Well I will explain, its … oh lets forget about it. Whatever I say, the next time you are off the lead you will still chase that poor fox”.
Trigger: “To be honest I’m getting bored with foxes. I’d love to play with one of those squirrel creatures. They really are most unsporting. Whenever I get near one they go and climb a tree. I can’t climb trees”. (Trigger looks sorrowful and his tail droops between his legs).
Me: “You love going into the office with me. Can you tell my readers what you like about my place of work?”
Trigger: “Everyone is so kind. People leave all kinds of tasty morsels within easy reach of a large lab/retriever. All I need to do is put my nose onto the desk and the prize is mine! I especially enjoy a challenge. Some workers put their food in plastic containers. These present a little more of a challenge. I have, however easily mastered the world of tuppaware containers”.
Me: “Is there anything you would like to say to my colleagues?”
Trigger: “Thank you for feeding me but, in future please just leave eatables on the floor it makes things much easier for me!”
Me: “what is your philosophy of life?”
Trigger: “If it’s vaguely edible eat it and, even if its inedible chew it anyway as this can be tremendous fun”.
Me: “Thank you Trigger. I’m off for a slice of chocolate cake. Trigger have you seen my cake? Bad dog, come here …!”