Category Archives: creative writing

Alibi

A man whose name was Wood

Said my poetry was no good.

In the forest dark

His end was stark.

But my alibi it was good …

Decorum

I know a young lady named Rose

Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.

But when we go shopping

She does wear 1 stocking.

Which I think shows decorum by Rose!

Chancer

I awoke with a gorgeous lap dancer

Who said, “sir, you are a chancer!”.

I said, “dear Miss Follit

Have you seen my wallet?”.

She said, “sir, I’m also a chancer!”.

A Brutal Young Man Named Keith

A brutal young man named Keith

Threatened to knock out my teeth.

But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,

Which got him in a fluster,

Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!

Squire Pleasant

My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant

Invited me to go and shoot peasant.

I went with my spouse

And found peasants and grouse,

And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!

I Have Awoken to an Empty Bed

I have awoken to an empty bed

And recollections of past sinning

With women.

 

 

I have felt spiritually dead

And fought to forget regret

In bed.

 

 

But, for a long time

I have engaged

Only in rhyme.

 

When I leave the stage

Only my rhyme may remain.

For there is no pain when dead.

 

When Dreams Turn to Nightmares

When dreams turn to nightmares

On endless dark stairs

And you are alone

In your castle of bones,

And you pray

For the day

That may never come,

You are in the nightmare

Of despair,

Where there is nowhere

To run.

When they speak of light

You see only night,

But the endless black stairs

Of your nightmares

May melt away

Into the day

And the sun

May come.

Should I Make a Full Confession

Should I make a full confession

Concerning my most recent shocking indiscretion?

It concerns Miss Amy

And her girlfriend Jamie –

And a lawyer who advised discretion …!

When a Young Lady Traveling in My Carriage

When a young lady traveling in my carriage

Said, “sir, I think you are proposing marriage!”,

I said to her, “Claire,

Lets stick to an affair.

Then she kicked me out of that carriage!