When a man whacking me with a lamp
Demanded that I give him a stamp.
I said, “dear Hutt,
Please accept this uppercut!”,
Then I stamped on him and his lamp!
Hutt’s Lamp
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Category Archives: poetry
Lust
If you had come
That night, there might have been delight
On my part.
But old time runs
And I find women of your kind
Leave no broken heart
When they depart.
Though I have sometimes been left bereft
When fun is done
For my clock
Must stop, and I return to dust.
Yet still I find
My man’s mind
Is full of lust.
The Joys of the Fairground
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
Miss Flow’s Delicious Cake
Have you seen that pretty Miss flow
Who works from a flat in Soho?
Please make no mistake
She serves delicious cake –
Well that’s what I’ve heard from Joe …!
Moriah and the British Empire
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
Piano Tuner
She spoke of the blind man
Who came to tune the family piano.
He thinks her name was Emily.
But men’s memories play tricks
And time slips
Unnoticed away.
He can not say
Whether she played the piano.
Perhaps she said
But his man’s mind
Was on bed.
It was an old tune
They played
Constrained by time.
He finds a blind piano tuner
He never met.
And Emily on his mind.
And lost in introspection
He searches for a connection
And recalls their night’s conversation
Followed by bed.
When I Saw My Dear Friend Miss Marr
When I saw my dear friend Miss Marr
Drinking good brandy and smoking a fine cigar,
And I mistook her for Churchill,
She said, “my name is Bill!
And why are you wearing my new bra!”
A Philosophical Encounter
When I met a pretty Utilitarian last night
Who told me her name was Miss White,
We discussed pleasure and pain.
Then we did that again.
As reading Bentham filled us both with delight!
White Van Man
When a cultured young lady named Ann
Went and dated a white van man,
She spoke of great Shakespeare,
Which he found quite queer –
But they had fun in his van …
Feisty Miss White
When a pretty young lady named White
Said, “I will turn out the light”.
And I said, “then get into bed?”,
She smacked me hard on the head.
Those nurses can get feisty at night!
Those nurses they
