Poet Kevin Morris reading his poem ‘There was a young man from Whitehall’
K Morris reading his poem ‘There was a young man from Whitehall’.
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K Morris reading his poem ‘She stood upon her head’.
Poet Kevin Morris reading his poem ‘She stood upon her head’.
Butter
The cook does mutter
About the missing butter,
While the dog licks his lips
And eyes up the chips …
—
Yesterday (25 March), I found my guide dog Trigger with his nose in a tub of butter. I had heard a crash in the kitchen earlier. however, on investigating and there appearing to be nothing amiss, I returned to the living room, until the sound of my hungry canine tucking into a tub of butter reached my ears!
A PassionateYoung Man Named Seb
A passionate young man named Seb
Decided to trawl the web.
There he met
A girl called Yvette.
She said “I love you my darling honey.
Please send me some money
So we can be together,
Forever and ever”.
Seb dispatched her funds via Western Union
As he longed for a communion,
Holy or otherwise.
But, to his surprise
He has still not met
His true love, Yvette …
A Few Humorous Poems for the Festive Season
A few humorous poems for you to enjoy over the festive season:
Christmas Dinner – https://newauthoronline.com/2015/12/24/christmas-dinner-humour-not-to-be-taken-seriously/
Shall I compare Thee? – https://newauthoronline.com/2015/12/12/shall-i-compare-thee/
Werner – https://newauthoronline.com/2016/04/12/werner/
Fleecem and Proper – https://newauthoronline.com/tag/fleecem-and-proper/
Fleecem and Proper
Said store owner Fleecem, to his assistant Proper
This metal here, it is but copper
But to the unwary shopper
‘Twill pass for gold
Let us be bold
And fleece ‘Em proper”!
But old Bill
The local copper
Nabbed those two, Fleecem and Proper!
Shady Sadie
There was a young lady called Sadie
With a past more than a little shady.
I said “Let us marry
And no longer tarry”.
She made reply
With a scornful sigh
“I would rather die
Than to your arms fly.
Besides, I long ago did marry
A man named Barry
And I am married still
To your best friend Bill”!
She Stood Upon Her Head
“I don’t like rules” she said
As she stood upon her head.
“I agree with thee
‘Tis good to be free.
Now do take tea
With me”
I said with glee.
“But the manager is looking.
Soon the shop he will be shutting.
I hear him shout
“You two, get out”!
She replied with a pout
“Hey Diddle Diddle” For Modern Times
Hey diddle diddle.
The cat’s on the fiddle.
The cow kidnapped the moon.
The policeman laughed at the overtime
And the butler ran away with the spoon.
Holly
There was a young lady called Holly,
Who’s personality was rather more prickly than jolly.
She followed a handsome man’s shopping trolley,
Which led her into folly!
K Morris - Poet 