There was a young lady of Deal
Who broke a cheap high-heel.
She hopped through the town
In her flimsy nightgown
Pursued by a vicar called Neil!
There Was A Young Lady Of Deal
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Tag Archives: laughter
There Was A Young Man Named Slattery
There was a young man named Slattery
Who said “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”.
But when they copied his art,
It broke his heart,
So he retired to live in a hattery!
A Journalist By The Name Of Lou
A journalist by the name of Lou
Has published a story about us two.
It concerns last night
When, by the star’s bright light
You lost a high-heel shoe …
I Know A Young Lady Named Claire
I know a young lady named Claire
Who, just for a dare,
Writes erotic verse,
Which grows steadily worse,
While dressed in her underwear!
When A Young Lady Whose Name is Sue
When a young lady whose name is Sue
Lost a brand new shoe,
My wife Jane
Did bitterly complain,
When she found that shoe of Sue …
—
When a young lady whose name is Sue
Misplaced a brand new shoe,
I very much regret
That my dog Jet
Chewed that brand new shoe!
When A Young Lady Whose Name is Sue
When a young lady whose name is Sue
Said, “its perfectly true!”.
I made reply,
“Young lady you lie!
I can’t believe that of Lou!”.
There Once Was A Man With A Beard
There once was a man with a beard
Who the people thought rather weird.
He lived in a tumbled down house
Along with a mouse,
Of which he was afeared!
—
There once was a man with a beard
Whose hair was long and seared.
He lived all alone
In a castle of stone
And he never shaved his beard!
The Alternative Acknowledgements (humour)
(The below is written firmly with my tongue in my cheek. Well maybe …)!
—
I would like to thank the following for their assistance in completing this book:
My editor, for taking my meagre gains from my literary eforts. (any remaining errors are, needless to say entirely his responsibility, and nothing to do with me squire!).
My partner, Miss Slapdash for her terrible cooking which, being wholly inedible drove me back to my study thereby encouraging me to write.
My publican, Mr Dodgy Geezer for serving what he calls beer, and the various ner-do-wells who frequent the Last Chance Saloon. The activities and conversations of these good people has provided me with literary material for many a year to come.
Finally I would like to extend a special thanks to my lawyer, Mrs Sue ‘Em before they Sue You, for her tireless eforts in fending off the many and various lawsuits which come my way. Her cheque is in the post, honest it is …!
Signed, an author, somewhere
Early Morning Humour
When a young lady who’s name was Lou
Lost her party shoe
A girl called Anne
Lent her a frying pan
Which she wore instead of a shoe.
—
A talented young lady called Rose
Decided a poem to compose.
She wrote it all down
And a jolly old clown
Tattooed it right there on his nose.
—
When a talented young lady called Rose
Decided a poem to compose
A vicar named Night
Smiled with delight
And went in search of his clothes …
There Was A Young Lady Called Fay
There was a young lady called Fay
Who to her fantasies gave way.
She loved chocolate mousse
And had morals quite loose,
So I married her in May …
There was a young lady called Fay
Who to her fantasies gave way.
She loved chocolate mousse
And had morals quite loose
Which turned my hair to grey …
K Morris - Poet 