Category Archives: books

Whilst Drunk On All Kinds of Booze

Whilst drunk on all kinds of booze
I borrowed my new girlfriend’s stiletto shoes.
And walked through the town
Wearing nought but her nightgown.
Did you see me on the news?

There Once Was a Nymph Named Fay

There once was a nymph named Fay
Who liked to play in the hay.
The local squire
Had a desire.
But that nymph she refused to play!

I Would Rather Be a Tree

I would rather be a tree
In the midst of the wood.
For in woodland glades
The traffic noise fades,
And the song of the bird
Fills the heart of the wood.
And the poet’s word
Is as nought to the bird.

My Easter Egg

When a beautiful young lady named Meg
Leapt out of my large Easter egg,
I said, “my dear sweet miss
I would give you a kiss.
But you have ruined my Easter egg!”.

Lyme Who Fought a Duel with Old Father Time

There once was a young man named Lyme
Who fought a duel with Old Father Time.
But, as day followed day
Old Father Time slipped away.
For only a fool will duel with time.

The Easter Bunny

I met a young lady named Honey
Who was dressed as the Easter Bunny.
I said, “are you up for fun?”.
And she produced a very big gun.
So that bunny got all my money!

A very happy Easter to all of my readers!

Kevin

There Once Was a Man Named Rory

There once was a man named Rory
Who was a traditional one nation Tory.
His lover Miss White
Was a true Thatcherite.
And her boyfriend he didn’t like Rory!

Miss Box

There once was a young lady named Box
Whose habit it was to ride a fox.
As she rode around town
In her most flimsy nightgown
The vicar yelled, “I still have your socks!”.

Whilst Whirling in a Very Fast Waltz

Whilst whirling in a very fast waltz
A young lady said, “are you false?”.
I said, “all our romance
‘Tis brief as this dance.
So lets just enjoy this sweet waltz!”.