Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

When I said to my dear friends,

“I’ve burned the candle at both ends,

By drinking and sinning

With beautiful young women!”.

They said, “that Kevin! He always pretends!”.

A Young Barmaid Who Works in the Grouse

A young barmaid who works in the Grouse

Likes to give me one on the house.

Her name is Miss Spink,

And she likes a drink,

And to give me one on the house!

There Was a Young Lady of Cameroon

There was a young lady of Cameroon

Who went by the name of Moon.

By the star’s bright light

She would squeal with delight,

But it was over all too soon!

A Tough Young Man Known as Lee

A tough young man known as Lee

Says he wants a word with me,

About a girl called Bland

And our one night stand,

But she only came round for tea!

When I Met a Young Lady Online

When I met a young lady online

Who invited me round for some wine,

I said to her, “Coral,

There will be nothing immoral!”.

She said, “no, but after the wine …”.

Lou Who Dressed in 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who walked around dressed in 1 shoe.

When a girl called Rose

Said, “put on some clothes!”,

Lou said, “I’m dressed in this shoe!”.

 

The Wicked Cat

I once met a wicked cat

Who attacked me with a bat.

When I said, “Percy!

Show me some mercy!”,

He laughed and raised that bat!

 

When Naughty Miss White and Miss Winning

When naughty Miss White and Miss Winning

Came round to mine for some sinning,

We got covered in cake

While a vicar named Lake

Condemned us for all of our sinning!

A Grave Situation

When a man whose name was Dave

Said, “I’ll sleep in this ’ere grave”,

A ghost called Clair

Said, “that isn’t fair!

I’d like some privacy in my grave!”.

Hot

When a young lady smoking some Pot

Said, “do you think that I’m hot?”,

They Said to her, “Moriah!

You’ve just started a fire!

You need to stop dropping that Pot!”.