When I said to my dear friends,
“I’ve burned the candle at both ends,
By drinking and sinning
With beautiful young women!”.
They said, “that Kevin! He always pretends!”.
When I said to my dear friends,
“I’ve burned the candle at both ends,
By drinking and sinning
With beautiful young women!”.
They said, “that Kevin! He always pretends!”.
A young barmaid who works in the Grouse
Likes to give me one on the house.
Her name is Miss Spink,
And she likes a drink,
And to give me one on the house!
There was a young lady of Cameroon
Who went by the name of Moon.
By the star’s bright light
She would squeal with delight,
But it was over all too soon!
A tough young man known as Lee
Says he wants a word with me,
About a girl called Bland
And our one night stand,
But she only came round for tea!
When I met a young lady online
Who invited me round for some wine,
I said to her, “Coral,
There will be nothing immoral!”.
She said, “no, but after the wine …”.
There was a young lady named Lou
Who walked around dressed in 1 shoe.
When a girl called Rose
Said, “put on some clothes!”,
Lou said, “I’m dressed in this shoe!”.
I once met a wicked cat
Who attacked me with a bat.
When I said, “Percy!
Show me some mercy!”,
He laughed and raised that bat!
When naughty Miss White and Miss Winning
Came round to mine for some sinning,
We got covered in cake
While a vicar named Lake
Condemned us for all of our sinning!
When a man whose name was Dave
Said, “I’ll sleep in this ’ere grave”,
A ghost called Clair
Said, “that isn’t fair!
I’d like some privacy in my grave!”.
When a young lady smoking some Pot
Said, “do you think that I’m hot?”,
They Said to her, “Moriah!
You’ve just started a fire!
You need to stop dropping that Pot!”.