When a philosophical young lady named Gwen
Climbed to the top of Big Ben,
And a policeman called Lyme
Said, “tell me the time”.
“Time has no real existence”, said Gwen!
Philosophical Gwen
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Tag Archives: kevin morris author
Miss Leigh’s Celibacy
A young lady whose name is Leigh
Has grown so tired of her celibacy
That she attends vicar’s parties
Whilst dressed as pink smarties,
Where she enjoys lots of hot tea!
While at College
While at college
The mower would pass
Across the grass.
Back then my knowledge
Failed to say
That sweet springing grass
Must turn to hay.
Safe in My Flat
Safe in my flat
In the early morning
I hear the birds
And ponder on cats.
There is no divine
Merely the purring feline,
Part of great nature.
The imponderable creator
Of little man.
Miss Hocking’s Stocking
A young lady whose name is Hocking
Is known for wearing only 1 stocking.
Her friend bishop Ron
Wears the other one,
As he’s very broad minded like Hocking!
Gwen Who Likes S and M
I know a young lady named Gwen
Who is fond of S and M.
We met at a dinner party
With the great and the literati,
Who all deny knowing me and Gwen!
A Girl’s Long Nails
Your long nails brushed
Against my startled fingers.
A thing not meant,
Yet the memory lingers.
Some other will explore
To their full extent
The pleasure of nails,
Not for me meant.
My Ruined New Bed
When a young man whose name was Ted
Lay bleeding to death on my new bed
And he said, with a sigh,
I know that I shall die”.
I said, “Ted! Your ruining my new bed!”
My Posh Girlfriend
My girlfriend who is so very posh
Is fond of saying golly! and gosh!
When she’s in the mood
She turns wicked and lewd,
And you wouldn’t believe that she’s posh!
Heather Who Was Light as a Feather
There was a young lady named Heather
Who said, “I’m light as a feather”.
Her rude mate Miss Kate
Said, “you carry great weight!”.
And then she ran hell for leather!
K Morris - Poet 