Tag Archives: funny poetry

June Author Newsletter

I am pleased to announce that my June Author Newsletter is available and can be found here. It is over a year since my last newsletter, and I promise to be much better in the future.

There Was a Young Lady of Cameroon

There was a young lady of Cameroon

Who went by the name of Moon.

By the star’s bright light

She would squeal with delight,

But it was over all too soon!

A Tough Young Man Known as Lee

A tough young man known as Lee

Says he wants a word with me,

About a girl called Bland

And our one night stand,

But she only came round for tea!

When I Met a Young Lady Online

When I met a young lady online

Who invited me round for some wine,

I said to her, “Coral,

There will be nothing immoral!”.

She said, “no, but after the wine …”.

Lou Who Dressed in 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who walked around dressed in 1 shoe.

When a girl called Rose

Said, “put on some clothes!”,

Lou said, “I’m dressed in this shoe!”.

 

The Wicked Cat

I once met a wicked cat

Who attacked me with a bat.

When I said, “Percy!

Show me some mercy!”,

He laughed and raised that bat!

 

Hot

When a young lady smoking some Pot

Said, “do you think that I’m hot?”,

They Said to her, “Moriah!

You’ve just started a fire!

You need to stop dropping that Pot!”.

Dave’s Rave

There was a young man named Dave

Who attended a very large rave,

Where a girl with a beard

Said, “some say that I’m weird,

But I really don’t like to shave!”.

Sex Kitten

A young lady who comes from Britain

Is known as a great sex kitten.

My dear old dog

Is known as Hogg,

And my kitten she comes from Britain …!

When I Bought a Fine Old Castle

When I bought a fine old castle

The resident vampire caused me great hassle.

Both her and a ghost

Would eat all my toast!

So I decided to leave for Newcastle!