When a young lady known as Claire
Said, “I’d like to call you sir”.
I said to Miss Jane,
“Its you with the cane!
I think Claire should call you sir!”.
Claire and Jane
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Keith and Lin
I know a young man named Keith
Who is known as a prodigious thief.
His pretty wife Lin
Is full of sin.
But I’m not that fond of Keith …
Poor Verse
When an old man driving a hearse
Went and composed a very poor verse,
A corpse named Ted
Said, “I am dead!
But I still object to poor verse!”
Whilst Visiting a Place Known as Clapham
Whilst visiting a place known as Clapham
A girl said, “I’ll make it happen!”.
When I said, “does it involve money?”,
She said, “o, my dear naïve honey,
Don’t you know everything does in Clapham!”
Kidnapped
I awoke on an island with seals
And spied a young lady in heels.
When I said, “my dear,
How did we get here!”,
She said, “we got kidnapped by seals!”.
I Am Not Indifferent to the Charms
I am not indifferent to the charms
Of a young woman’s arms.
So when your arm wound around me
Of course I was flattered
For you are much younger than me.
I have had dreams shattered
So will believe that it was merely
Out of friendly regard
That your youthful arm
Wound around me.
In the churchyard
On my way home alone
I passed by cold stones
And contrasted their charms
With your warm arms.
My Dear Friend the Beautiful Miss Lee
My dear friend the beautiful Miss Lee
Has won prizes for her erotic poetry.
She came round last night
With a girl called white
And we played at cards till 3.
To an Ageing Rake
When your fun is done
And she goes home
And you are left alone,
Do you consider
Her youth
And that perfect figure?
Perhaps you consider
The truth:
How lack of finance
Or other mischance
Leads her to dance
With a rake
Who, fearful of dust
Takes, in lust
A young woman who
Needs your wealth,
But holds in contempt
You and herself.
Sun Who is Always Up for Some Fun
I know a young lady named Sun
Who is always up for some fun.
Her and Miss Claire
Work in the fair,
And from their boyfriends I must run!
I Know a Most Delightful Old Squire
I know a most delightful old squire
Who has never been seen with Moriah.
She wears a short dress
And I have to confess
That she looks rather like the squire!
K Morris - Poet 