I once met a very large alligator
Who asked could he borrow my calculator.
I said to him, “mate
Please go and eat Kate.
She’ll taste much nicer than my calculator!”.
The Alligator and My Calculator
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Category Archives: newauthoronline
Why Should I be Good
If we are going to hell in a handcart
Why should I be good?
Should my art be moral, when there is dark
In my imperfect heart?
When I am dead
I will not care what is said
Of me by she
Who must follow me in due time.
Poets leave clues in rhyme
To their misspent lives
And the literary critic thrives
By interpreting lost lives.
I try to be good.
But when nymphs call
I recall what is good
And yet still fall.
Robots as Literary Translators
A thought provoking article in the Telegraph about the use of artificial intelligence in literary translation, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/translation-artificial-intelligence-authors/. The author discusses whether AI can ever master the craft of the human translator.
Whilst I suspect that some simple texts may be more or less passable when translated by AI, even here errors will, I surmise occur. However, when it comes to Tolstoy’s War and Peace I can’t see AI being able to translate the novel from Russian into English with the craftsmanship of a top class translator for many years to come, and perhaps never.
Unfortunately the article is behind a paywall, but those with a subscription to the Telegraph will be able to access it.
A Young Lady Who is Really Nice
A young lady who is really nice
Is known for her love of spice.
Her name is Miss Lott
And she likes it hot.
And she also likes curry and rice!
The Importance of Hope!
There once was a man named Hope
Who jumped out of a large envelope.
He gave a great shout,
Which caused quite a rout!
Then returned by post to Good Hope!
Were to Submit Your Poetry
A helpful list of places to submit your poetry, ranging from poetry magazines and journals through to publishers of pamphlets and books. https://poetryschool.com/theblog/where-to-submit-your-poetry-in-2023-2024/
Although this list refers to 2024, the vast majority of the publications will remain relevant in 2025 and beyond.
When a Wicked Old Rake Known as Winning
When a wicked old rake known as Winning
Said, “I’ve lost count of all the women
I have taken to bed”.
A young lady in red, said,
“With me you will not be winning, Winning!”.
Alexa Says it Won’t Rain Today
Alexa says it won’t rain today.
I put my coat on anyway.
Sure enough, it rains again.
Should I maintain
My faith in the reliability
Of modern technology?
No, today I shall pray
To the god of rain
And silently blast
The weather forecast!
Do that Again
When a beautiful young lady named Gwen
Said, “please go and do that again!”,
A writer called White
Smiled with great delight,
As again, he reached for his pen.
In the End
I desire to retire
To a house with old clocks.
There my poor words
Would be inspired by birds
And the clock’s slow tick tock.
I would forget my regret
And get lost in fine rhyme.
Women and wine
Would distract my mind
From passing time.
Young women’s heels click.
Old clocks tick.
But all must stop
In the end,
However much we pretend
They do not.
K Morris - Poet 