When a man whacking me with a lamp
Demanded that I give him a stamp.
I said, “dear Hutt,
Please accept this uppercut!”,
Then I stamped on him and his lamp!
Hutt’s Lamp
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Category Archives: books
Lust
If you had come
That night, there might have been delight
On my part.
But old time runs
And I find women of your kind
Leave no broken heart
When they depart.
Though I have sometimes been left bereft
When fun is done
For my clock
Must stop, and I return to dust.
Yet still I find
My man’s mind
Is full of lust.
I Once Met a Man Named Max
I once met a man named Max
Who refused to pay any tax.
A young lady called Miss Lou
Spanks paying gentlemen with her shoe –
I hope that she pays her tax!
Honey
She uses the word “honey”
As easily as he spends his money
On pretty birds whose words
Are meaningful as ads seen at night
On boards offering the delight
Of ice cream dreams that melt away
Into the mundanity of day
Looking at her mobile
She smiles her painted smile,
And says, “that was fun.
Now I must run”.
Then, not forgetting her money
She leaves her honey
Who, as heels fade away
Thinks, we both pay,
Each in our own way .
The Joys of the Fairground
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
Miss Flow’s Delicious Cake
Have you seen that pretty Miss flow
Who works from a flat in Soho?
Please make no mistake
She serves delicious cake –
Well that’s what I’ve heard from Joe …!
Moriah and the British Empire
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
Piano Tuner
She spoke of the blind man
Who came to tune the family piano.
He thinks her name was Emily.
But men’s memories play tricks
And time slips
Unnoticed away.
He can not say
Whether she played the piano.
Perhaps she said
But his man’s mind
Was on bed.
It was an old tune
They played
Constrained by time.
He finds a blind piano tuner
He never met.
And Emily on his mind.
And lost in introspection
He searches for a connection
And recalls their night’s conversation
Followed by bed.
When I Saw My Dear Friend Miss Marr
When I saw my dear friend Miss Marr
Drinking good brandy and smoking a fine cigar,
And I mistook her for Churchill,
She said, “my name is Bill!
And why are you wearing my new bra!”
A Philosophical Encounter
When I met a pretty Utilitarian last night
Who told me her name was Miss White,
We discussed pleasure and pain.
Then we did that again.
As reading Bentham filled us both with delight!
K Morris - Poet 