Monthly Archives: April 2022

When a Pushy Young Man Named Ivor

When a pushy young man named Ivor
Demanded that I lend him a fiver,
And his friend Gwen
Said, “make it ten!”,
I lent that young man Ivor neither!

When a Young Lady Whose Hobby is Flogging

When a young lady whose hobby is flogging
Said, “do you think I should start blogging?”,
I said, “dear Miss Kipp,
Please, put down that whip!
And change your hobby from flogging to blogging!”

Birds in the Early Morning

When, at 6 am, I
Walked in the woods nearby,
Expecting to hear the birds,
(As I have often heard
Them sing in early morn).
Few birds I heard
For as I slept
The dawn
She crept
Softly by.

After the Ball

When I visited you
In your parent’s house
I doubt you knew
How I wanted you.
I remember your spouse
(To be).
Did he
Know
I wanted you
So?

After the ball
An owl called
And you said
How the owl’s cry
In the dark park
Was “sexy”, and I
Thought of bed
And went home
To tea, alone.

There Once Was a Very Small Mouse

There once was a very small mouse
Who drank in a large public house.
The pub’s cat Matt
Lived in a hat
Which he shared with that small mouse!

In the Ancient Wood I Stood

In the ancient wood I stood
And saw many a fallen tree
Brought low by storm.
They spoke to me
Of how shadows grow
On an English lawn,
In summertime. And of Kipling’s rhyme.
For he foresaw how empires go.
Do the Chinese and Russians know
What Kipling told not long ago?

(Note: for anyone who has not done so, I recommend reading Kipling’s “Recessional”, in which he warns against the arrogance of imperialism, and foresees the loss of the British Empire).

Miss Mabel and the Table

When I met an adventurous young lady named Mabel
Who said, “do you want me on this table?”,
I said, “I’ve met many young women
Who spend all their lives in sinning,
And, my dear Mabel, that table is very unstable!”

Moral Dan

There once was a person named Dan
Who was known as a moral man.
His young mistress Flair
Enjoyed many an affair,
But Dan was a most moral man!

The Unseeing Clock

A clock does tick.
Hands of terror grip
An innocent child, while
The impersonal tick tock
Of the unseeing clock
Speaks of cruelty and power.
In childhood, an hour
Can be an eternity.