My great friend the late Lord Kettle
Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.
Then he made some tea,
Which he shared with me,
In a place that’s known as Settle.
Lord Kettle
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
Polyamory
You praised polyamory.
As for me
I am not polyamorous
But you, being glamorous,
I found time
To rhyme
And discuss polyamory
With thee …
Lou
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Said, “watch out as I’m coming for you!”.
And I said, “are you a ghoul,
She said, “no! you stupid old fool!
I’m Lou, and you’ve just stolen my shoe!”.
Procrastination
When a young lady named Kate
Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.
I said, “I beg your pardon!
But I am doing this garden!
But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.
Alibi
A man whose name was Wood
Said my poetry was no good.
In the forest dark
His end was stark.
But my alibi it was good …
Decorum
I know a young lady named Rose
Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.
But when we go shopping
She does wear 1 stocking.
Which I think shows decorum by Rose!
A Brutal Young Man Named Keith
A brutal young man named Keith
Threatened to knock out my teeth.
But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,
Which got him in a fluster,
Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!
Squire Pleasant
My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant
Invited me to go and shoot peasant.
I went with my spouse
And found peasants and grouse,
And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!
Should I Make a Full Confession
Should I make a full confession
Concerning my most recent shocking indiscretion?
It concerns Miss Amy
And her girlfriend Jamie –
And a lawyer who advised discretion …!
When a Young Lady Traveling in My Carriage
When a young lady traveling in my carriage
Said, “sir, I think you are proposing marriage!”,
I said to her, “Claire,
Lets stick to an affair.
Then she kicked me out of that carriage!
K Morris - Poet 