Tag Archives: nonsense verse

When a Pretty Young Lady Named May

When a pretty young lady named May

Knocked on my door on Valentines Day,

And my dear old wife Claire

Screamed, “are you having an affair!”,

I turned to my sweet mistress Fay …

My Valentine’s Night

When a nubile young lady named White

Invited me out on Saint Valentine’s Night,

Miss Nell came as well

With the most Reverend Bell,

And the waitress she wore Angel Delight!

When a Young Lady Brandishing a Cucumber

When a young lady brandishing a cucumber

Awakened me from my very deep slumber,

And I said, “Mis Parrot,

Do you fancy a carrot?”.

She said, “no, I’m brandishing this cucumber!”.

Vicar Ray

When my friend the good vicar Ray

Knelt, and said, “let us all pray”.

Sinful Miss Coral

Did something immoral.

And the ambassador urged diplomacy on Ray!

When a Vicious Young Man of Bristol

When a vicious young man of Bristol

Threatened me with his rapier and pistol,

A girl named Lake

Distracted him with cake,

And I whacked him with Miss Crystal!

When a Young Lady Wearing a Hat

When a young lady wearing a hat

Said, “tell me, do you fancy that?”.

I said, “Miss Coral,

I’m far too moral!

But I really do like that hat!”.

A Beautiful Young Lady Named White

A beautiful young lady named White

Brought delight to me last night.

In a backstreet hotel

That I know well

We composed poetry all last night.

When a Scantily Clad Miss Lyme

When a scantily clad Miss Lyme

Said, “is this your first time?”,

A great poet I know

Said, “me and Miss flow,

We spend much time in rhyme”.

Pam

A young lady who is truly divine

Came round to mine for some wine.

Her name it is Pam.

Now she’s pushing a pram.

I wonder, will the baby like wine?

A Most Enterprising Young Lady Named Maddy

A most enterprising young lady named Maddy

Is looking for a rich sugar daddy.

When I had money

I was her honey.

But now I’ve been dumped by Maddy …