Tag Archives: money


A young woman of 20
Sells water from her bath
For £24, and there are plenty
Who buy.
I laugh
And wonder why I
Spend my
Valuable time
In rhyme . . .!

(Yesterday I read this article http://mylifestylemax.com/lifestyle/influencer-charges-fans-24-to-buy-bathwater-shes-played-in-and-it-sells-out/ about an”influencer” on Instagram who sells her bath water to any of her followers who are happy to pay £24 for the privelege of possessing a bottle of, err bath water. This caused me to ponder on how people value things, whether that be the water in which a young woman has soaked, or the rhymes poets such as I pen).

There Was A Young Lady Called Claire

There was a young lady called Claire
Who married an elderly billionaire.
She spent his money on shoes
And many a world cruise.
He tripped, and died on the stair …!

People caught reading on London Underground to be fined £5 as from 1 April

Yesterday evening I met a friend who works for Transport for London. After a few pints he confided in me that London Underground will be introducing fines for those found to be reading books on the tube. According to my friend who, for obvious reasons wishes to remain anonymous, there have been many accidents caused by commuters so absorbed in their reading matter they have failed to notice the person closest to them and poked them in the eye with a book, newspaper or magazine. There is also, he says an issue with people missing their stop due to being engrossed in a good (or bad) book (good and bad are, after all subjective terms).
Consequently as from today (April 1st)anyone caught reading on the tube will be subject to an on the spot fine of £5 (if paid by cash rather than card this will be reduced to £4.50). My friend believes that this will enhance the customer experience of those traveling on London Underground. Rather than taking refuge in a book or paper commuters may, actually talk to their fellow passengers! The idea does, he says have the added advantage of creating employment as a significant number of “Book Banners” will be required to enforce the policy.
What do you, my readers think of the idea? Will it work? Is it a good one? How would you feel where you to be subjected to a fine of £5 for reading on the tube?


An Offer I Simply Can Not Afford To Turn Down

Below is an e-mail from a most noble and worthy gentleman together with my response. The e-mil was, for some inexplicable reason relegated by Google to my spam folder. Riches await me …!


Email From Dr Menah


“My dear good frend

Compliment of the season, how are you and your family? Hope All is well. I am Dr. Igho Menah, the accountant general in the accounts unit Bank of Africa (BOA-BF) Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I got your contact from the Burkina Faso chambers of commerce have some fund to claim in my bank Which will be of benefit to both of us.


I want you to be an inheritor of the fund, the fund is in a Doormat account and with your bank information and my Documentation certifies you as the inheritor/beneficiary Since I am an insider and working in the same bank, the Transfer will be processed legally and successfully and I will Be coming down to your country for disbursement.


The amount of money involved is ($5.6million) which I want you to Claim for further transfer out of the country to your bank Account, all to our financial benefit. This is very great opportunity as it will take a maximum of 7 banking Working days to be concluded.


I as an insider will do my duties perfectly well concerning this transaction for security reasons. This is confidential for successful conclusion and hitch-free transaction. Contact me immediately for further details and mutual Relationship and we will decide together on how to disburse The funds and percentage as well, my private email Address :(address deleted by me)


I will be waiting to hear from you.


Yours truly.
Dr. Igho Menah.”




My Response

“Dear Dr Menah,

thank yu for your kind communication and good wishes in respect of myself and those dear to me. I am touched that a gentleman of such exhaulted position (I refer, of course to your noble personage) should take time away from his busy schedule to contact me, a mere author. I trust that my response kindles in what, I feel sure must be a heart full of the milk of human kindness,feelings of the upmost exhaultation.

I was most interested to read your kind invitation to participate in your scheme for relieving your country’s bank of a significant sum of money. I feel certain that an upright gentleman, a man of probity and, no doubt deeply religious beliefs would not be a party to (or expect me, a humble author) to participate in what some uncharitable individuals, (not myself I hasten to add) might construe as constituting fraudulent conduct. I was, incidentally most interested to read about the “Doormat account”. I have not heard of any such banking instrument and would be most grateful if you could find time in your busy schedule to enlighten me regarding what a “doormat account” consists of?

I will give your offer the consideration which it so richly deserves. You may expect to hear from me, via a message placed in a beer bottle which I shall drop in the great Atlantic in the hope and expectation that my bank account details will reach your good self in a timely fashon.

Are you, by the way a lover of literature.? I feel sure that a man of your stature must be very learned. May I take the liberty of suggesting that you may wish to visit my Amazon author page. You will, I am confident find material to entertain and delight you contained therein.


Yours most insincerely

A Humble Author


(Note; I did not, in fact respond to Dr Menah’s most generous invitation but, had I done so the above is what I would have penned in response).

How Many Reviews Does A Book On Amazon Have?

When purchasing books online most people will look at the reviews. One or more good reviews may encourage the potential reader to part with their money. Amazon have, fairly recently allowed reviews appearing on amazon.com to show on the amazon.co.uk site. This is to be welcomed, however matters are somewhat confusing. Take, for example my collection of short stories, “Sting In The Tail and Other Stories” (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sting-tail-other-stories-Morris-ebook/dp/B00DFK6R54/ref=pd_cp_kinc_0). As of today anyone visiting the UK site will, at first glance see that “Sting In The Tail” has received 1 review. However, read down the page and (under the review which was posted on the UK site) appear 3 reviews written by readers who have purchased the book on amazon.com. It might be argued that people should carefully read all the information about a particular book. However, in the real world potential readers will frequently just glance at a book description, note that it has (apparently) 1 review and pass on to the next title. The situation is worse for authors when no reviews appear on the UK site but books have been reviewed on the US website. Again one can argue that readers (if they look at the whole page) will see that the book has, in fact been reviewed on amazon.com, but how many readers will read so far?

My suggestion for resolving this issue is for the total number of reviews on both amazon.com and amazon.co.uk to appear near to the top of the book’s page (after all a review is a review irrespective of which country it was written in).

As I said at the start of this post it is wonderful that Amazon do include reviews written on amazon.com on the UK site. However, in my opinion the total number of reviews should be made clearer ensuring that the potential buyer has the maximum amount of information at his (or her) fingertips and, hopefully helping authors to sell more books.