A leading actress whose name is Claire
Said, “I will see you out there”.
So I went on stage
With a performer called Page,
But there was no sign of Claire!
My Time On Stage
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Tag Archives: humour
There Once Was A Man Who Ate Glue
There once was a man who ate glue,
Which was a very strange thing to do!
When they asked, “is it nice?”
He tried to speak twice,
But he was unable, due to the glue!
Lin and the Biscuit Tin
When a young lady named Lin
Jumped out of my biscuit tin,
And I said, with a glare,
“What were you doing in there?”,
She said, “you shut me in!”.
—
When a young lady whose name is Lin
Jumped out of my biscuit tin
She said, with a pearcing glare,
“There are no biscuits in there,
And I have grown sad and thin!”.
The Establishment
When a young man whose name is Franks
Said, “the establishment they always close ranks!”.
And I replied, “how so?”,
He said, “get off my big toe!
You’re the establishment, and you always close ranks!”.
My Friend Whose Name Is Louise
My friend whose name is Louise
Is extremely fond of high trees.
When she reaches the top
She likes to play pop,
Which always attracts the bees!
Wednesday Morning Humour
There was a young lady named Lou
Who was fond of the high-heel shoe,
But when she wore them in bed
Her mother’s face turned bright red,
And she said, Lou, “this really wont do!”.
—
A young lady named Lou
Is fond of the high-heel shoe.
Her boyfriend called Ted
Sleeps under the bed,
And Lou, she sleeps with her shoe!
—
My friend whose name is Hogg
Lives near an ancient peat bog.
His young wife Moriah
Does my poetry inspire,
Whilst Hogg’s away in that bogg.
When A Socialist Named Grub
When a Socialist named Grub
Walked into a Conservative club,
And they asked, “why are you here?”,
He said, “I’ve heard about the beer.
I believe that its very good!”.
When A Literary Critic Named Lee
When a literary critic named Lee
Came round to mine for tea,
I offered him some cake,
Which he failed to take,
And then he criticised my tea!
Blind Publican
Last night, I had a dream in which I had agreed to work in my local pub. Being blind, this would, no doubt have been a very interesting experience for me and the customers of that esteemed establishment.
My peculiar dream led to the composition of the below rhyme.
—
When a blind man whose name is Grub
Got a job in his local pub,
Those wanting brandy
Got lemonade shandy,
But the grub, it was really quite good!
Samantha
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who bought a baby pet panther.
The creature was cute
And played the flute,
And Samantha, she was a dancer.
—
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who purchased a baby pet panther.
The creature played on the flute,,
But I never reached the root,
Of what happened to that Samantha . . .
—
A young lady whose name is Samantha
Works as an erotic dancer.
When the men bother her
She gives them a glare,
So I keep well away from Samantha!
K Morris - Poet 