Tag Archives: humour

Hocking

A young lady by the name of Hocking
Engages in behaviour which is really quite shocking.
I still have the shoe
Of that wicked Miss Lou,
And I’ve oft worn those stockings of Hocking …

A Talented Young Man Riding a Goat

A talented young man riding a goat
Said, “many a poem I have wrote
About young ladies from Ealing,
Who dance on my ceiling.
And can someone please stop this goat!

As I Walked the Streets Last Night

As I walked the streets last night
I got arrested by constable Miss White.
She said, “that’s enough!”.
And with her handcuff,
I got cuffed to White all night!

When An Extremely Large Old Crocodile

When an extremely large old crocodile
Said, with a most beautiful smile,
“Its good to swim
So jump right in”.
I carried on draining the Nile!

The Crocodile

When an extremely kind old crocodile
Gave me a most winning smile,
I said, with a grin
“I would love to swim.
But I shall practice self denial!”.

On Awaking By the Moon’s Bright Light

On awaking by the moon’s bright light
I saw a young lady in white.
When I said, “are you a ghoul?”,
She called me a stupid old fool.
And left, by the sun’s bright light …

Vaccinated

On 19 February, I received my first shot of the Fizer Corona vaccine, https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/regulatory-approval-of-pfizer-biontech-vaccine-for-covid-19/information-for-uk-recipients-on-pfizerbiontech-covid-19-vaccine#side-effects.

I am pleased to report that thus far I have experienced no side effects and I would strongly encourage anyone who remains unsure about being vaccinated, to take the plunge, do I mean jab! When offered the opportunity.

I look forward to sipping pints in a pub garden once more with friends, hopefully in the near future!

My only complaint is that no one offered me a piece of cake or a nice cup of tea following my vaccination. I shall be writing a strongly worded letter of complaint to Matthew Hancock, the Secretary of State for Health about that! I feel sure that, having received my letter, he will immediately order all vaccination centres to stock up with assorted cakes and a good variety of teas to cater for all tastes!

As I Boarded a Brand New Train

As I boarded a brand new train
I met with a girl named Jane.
We went real fast
Then, at long last,
The driver decided to start that train!

Of Heels and Seals

There once was a young lady in heels
Who danced on the sand with the seals.
As she romped on the shore
The men called out “more, more!”.
And the rest is known by those seals!

Rose Who Wore Tight Clothes

There once was a young lady named Rose
Whose habit was to dress in tight clothes.
When the vicar’s sweet daughter, Louise
Asked about the birds and bees,
Rose she burst out of those tight clothes!