Category Archives: uncategorised

When My Friend Whose Name is Katie

When my friend whose name is Katie
Said, “I want to discuss something weighty”.
I said, “you’re not fat”,
And she really liked that.
But I felt bad lying to Katie!


Should I repent
Of her sweet scent?
She is free
Yet, her scent
Is costly to me.

Am I responsible for society,
With all of it’s flaws?
Heels click on floors.
And I ponder on the responsibility
Of her, and me, and society.

There Once Was A Poet From Gwent

There once was a poet from Gwent
Who, having all his meagre earnings spent
In his local sauna,
On pretty Miss Lorna.
Composed a poem about paying the rent!

The Fryer’s Hair Dryer

When I met an extremely wizened old fryer
Drying my wet lawn with his hair dryer,
And I said, “why dry this grass?”.
He said, “sir, all things must pass”.
And I wept over that fryer’s hair dryer!


I know a young lady named Sally
With whom I’m more than just pally.
She often visits my house,
But not with her spouse.
As with him I’m not that pally!

My Birthday

When a silver-haired poet known as Kevin
Said, “I grow ever nearer to sweet heaven
As I turned 52 today”,
A young lady named Fay
Said, “you’re drunk and its not yet 7!”.

Wicked Miss Lou

When a wicked young lady named Lou
Tied me up to poor Miss Sue,
I said to Pearl,
“You’re a good girl”.
But that girl she joined in too!

Loose Morals

When a young lady riding a goose
Said, “my morals are so incredibly loose”,
The men gave a great roar.
But the goose said, “no more!
Young lady, your morals are too loose!”.

When A Vicar Named Warner

When a vicar named Warner
Walked into a backstreet sauna,
And religious Miss Fay
Said, “shall we pray?”.
That greatly confused vicar Warner!

In Memory of

A bench replete
With flowers,
In winter’s wood.
Marked by a stone
Clock with lost hands.

We go into the unknown
But, perhaps a bench may stand
To commemorate
Those who, of a late
Winter afternoon,
Think on nature’s passing bloom.