Category Archives: uncategorised

When I Found Beautiful Miss Cath

When I found beautiful Miss Cath
Soaking in my brand new bath,
I played on my violin
A tune of sweet sin.
But all she did was laugh!

When I Saw My Friend Major Jones

When I saw my friend Major Jones
Firing his gun at some old bones,
And I said to him, “Sir,
Where is your dear wife Clair?”.
He pointed his gun at those bones.

My Old Friend, Whose Name Is Binder

My old friend, whose name is Binder
Has a job as a clock winder.
A young lady called White
Walks the streets at night.
Where she often meets my friend Binder.

Photograph

I was deeply moved when, on entering my local pub yesterday (Saturday 17th October), I found that the pub had, on prominent display a photograph of my former guide dog Trigger.

Distance shot of Trigger’s photo

Distance shot of Trigger’s photo

I have long since lost count of the number of occasions on which Trigger and I would visit the pub. Whilst I enjoyed chatting to friends over a pint (or more)! of beer Trigger would enjoy being stroked, or vacuuming up the crisps or nuts which he so adeptly managed to find on the carpet! He was a typical lab/retriever (but possessed of his own unique lovable personality), and is still sadly missed by me, and so many other people who knew him.

The below poem, “Early Morning Walk”, was written shortly after having walked Trigger in woods close to my home. Dogs live in the moment. They do not become obsessed with useless thought as do we humans, and we have so much to learn from them.

My dog snuffles
and scuffles
amongst the leaves.
He is just there
With no care
For what I think
As I drink
In the fresh morning air.

Should you happen to be in the Crystal Palace/Gipsy Hill area, and fancy a pint in convivial surroundings, you can find the Railway Bell (and Trigger’s photograph) here, https://www.rampubcompany.co.uk/visit-pubs/railway-bell.

The Railway Pub

My thanks to my friend Jeff for taking the photograph, and my friend Henry for printing it.

Close-up of Trigger’s photo

Close-up of Trigger’s photo

My thanks also to Danielle of The Railway Bell for her kindness in having the photograph framed and arranging for it to be displayed in the pub.

Bishop Higgle

“What is sin?”,I asked Bishop Higgle.
And, as I did, a girl’s giggle
Came from his bedchamber.
And blonde Miss Granger
Did, so sweetly say,
“When the cat’s away
The mice will play!”.

Miss Alice

I know a young lady named Miss Alice
Who lives close to the great Crystal Palace.
She is often very bad
Which makes the priest sad.
And I’m off just now to see Alice.

There Once Was A Man Named Lyme

There once was a man named Lyme
Who, determined to conquer Old Father Time,
Covered up all the clocks
With his girlfriend’s new frocks.
And Old Father Time laughed at Lyme.

Alice in Wonderland Would be at Home Here

From tomorrow (Saturday 17th October), it becomes illegal for separate households to mix indoors (unless the household concerned is part of a bubble, in which case it is allowed). Households may also mix in Covid secure workplaces, although the government advises that those who can do so should work from home.

As someone who lives in the Greater London area, the above rules will impact me from Saturday 17th October.

I find the restrictions nonsensical. I can, from tomorrow still go into a pub or restaurant and be in the presence of other households (provided I remain 2 metres apart and wear a mask when not seated). However I can not meet friends in a pub or restaurant even if we are “social distancing”.

Yesterday evening I popped into my favourite local pub. It was relatively quiet and I chatted to a couple of customers (socially distanced from me) over a few pints. From Saturday 17th October I will still be able to talk to people in a pub and/or restaurant provided we remain socially distanced, and provided also that they are not my friends!

Again, I can not have friends or family round to my home, but my cleaner may, perfectly legally continue to clean my home provided that we observe Covid secure guidelines.

Now, my cleaner wears a mask and gloves whilst in my home and (when I last checked) my family and friends did not)! However, the fact remains that a cleaner or other tradesperson may continue to visit domestic premises, for the purposes of work, whilst family and friends may not do so (unless the household is part of a bubble).

I am sure that Alice (of Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass fame) would be at home in this crazy world we are currently inhabiting!

As I’ve said previously, whilst I accept that Covid-19 is a serious issue, I am not a supporter of bans on household mixing. I think that any true liberal should feel very queasy when police are empowered to fine and/or arrest households for socially mixing.

For anyone interested in reading about the Covid restrictions, please see https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1346946/can-workmen-come-to-the-house-cleaners-household-mixing-new-rules-tier-1-2-3-EVG.

A Young Woman Wearing Bright Pink High-Heels

A young woman wearing bright pink high-heels
Went in to swim with the seals.
Being drunk on strong booze
She lost both her shoes.
Or so I’m told by those seals!