There was a young man named Parks
Who quoted the works of Karl Marx
To pretty young women,
Who thought of sinning,
Whilst Parks he thought of Karl Marx!
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Shadows of the Past
My shadow in front of me.
Leaves fall from a nearby tree.
I think of an old England
I never knew.
Is all I understand
Or maybe half-see
The reality of me?
What is true
When the many/few
Call for Britain’s statues to fall,
And label me merely a reactionary?
Ghoul
On my way home late last night
I met a young lady in white.
She gave me a wave
And returned to her grave.
And the theatre was crowded last night!
The Perfumer
I met a beautiful young perfumer
Who had no sense of humour.
They say I spent
My money on scent.
But that’s just a wicked rumour!
Miss Wood and the Mud
When a careless young lady named Wood
Got her stilettos stuck in deep mud
And I said, “get them off”.
She replied, with a shocked cough,
“Not here! In this nasty deep mud!”
Lou’s Footwear
When a young lady named Miss Lou
Threatened to spank me with her shoe
I said, “I really don’t care
What you do with your footwear,
But you’re exciting the old vicar Lou!”
The Vicious Old Goat
I met a vicious looking old goat
Who was dressed in a frock coat.
He said, “I will be level.
I am the wicked old devil!”.
So I skinned and ate that goat!
Rent Money
When a young lady who comes from Kent
Said, “sir, I can not pay my rent.
Lets have a quick affair!”.
I said to her, “Clair,
That’s great, but I’m not paying your rent!”
Bell
A young lady whose name is Bell
Has a reputation in a certain hotel,
Where she and Miss White
Provide their company at night.
And something more I have heard tell …
Miss Nell’s Hotel
A pious old lady named Miss Nell
Said, “I know of a most seedy hotel
Where fallen girls galore
Break God’s sacred law!”
But she refused to name that hotel …
—
A naughty young lady known as Nell
Frequents a most infamous and rundown hotel.
A policeman called Paul
Said, “all men fall”,
As he sat drinking tea with Nell …