Category Archives: creative writing

When I Saw My Dear Friend Miss Marr

When I saw my dear friend Miss Marr

Drinking good brandy and smoking a fine cigar,

And I mistook her for Churchill,

She said, “my name is Bill!

And why are you wearing my new bra!”

A Philosophical Encounter

When I met a pretty Utilitarian last night

Who told me her name was Miss White,

We discussed pleasure and pain.

Then we did that again.

As reading Bentham filled us both with delight!

White Van Man

When a cultured young lady named Ann

Went and dated a white van man,

She spoke of great Shakespeare,

Which he found quite queer –

But they had fun in his van …

Feisty Miss White

When a pretty young lady named White

Said, “I will turn out the light”.

And I said, “then get into bed?”,

She smacked me hard on the head.

Those nurses can get feisty at night!

 

Those nurses they

Terrible Old Bore

When a rude young man named Moore

Said, “you are a terrible old bore!”.

I gave him a smile

And then, with great style,

I kicked Moore out of the door!

Too Much Partying!

When I met a young lady in Soho

Who told me her name it was Flow,

I bought her and Jane

Lots of overpriced fake champagne

And awoke with a bloke in old Soho!

Let Children Learn our Best Verse

A good and interesting article in the Spectator, entitled Let Children Learn our Best Verse, Let children learn our best verse | The Spectator

 

Thoughts of a Middle-Aged Man

In early August

Leaves on the ground

Are blown around.

 

 

Autumn must

Come in with September.

 

 

I remember

Barefoot girls in summertime

And lust

Only half understood.

 

 

In woods

Autumn leaves become dust.

My blood

Still runs hot.

And the graveyard plot

Calls us all.

The Vicar’s Sermon

When the noble and erudite vicar Winning

Gave a fine sermon condemning all sinning,

Rose and Miss Spink

Gave him a wink.

And the congregation all fell about grinning!

Grace the Magician

A magician who is known as Grace

Has made many men vanish without trace.

There’s a magic spade

And a secluded glade.

And the police are looking for Grace …