Tag Archives: nonsense verse

A Young Lady of Uganda

I met a young lady named Amanda

Who comes from a place called Uganda.

She called me sweet honey

And spent all my money,

Then escaped whilst dressed as a panda!

Threatened with Chains

When a young lady brandishing whips and chains

Said, “do you like a girl with brains?”,

I said, “dear Lou,

I most certainly do!

But please can you stop brandishing those chains!”

Swinging

When I went to a swingers bar

With a girl who calls herself Marr

A police constable named Flair

Danced nude on a chair –

But you should have seen Miss Marr …!

Melancholy Polly

There was a young lady named Polly

Who was known for her love of melancholy.

Her verse was so sad

It drove us all mad

So we exiled that girl to a folly

Slippers and Kippers

There once was a young lady in slippers

Who was famous for her custard and kippers.

Her food was real nice

But that girl’s only vice

Was serving kippers whilst dressed in just slippers …!

Hatch Who Was Fond of a Scratch

There once was a writer named Hatch

Who was fond of having a scratch.

He liked to write

With his dog White

Whose fleas  would cause Hatch to scratch!

Phlegmatic Matt

There was a phlegmatic young man named Matt

Who was fond of stroking his cat.

When a ghoul appeared

And most wickedly sneered,

He said, “its always a pleasure to chat”.

When a Lady High in a Tree

When a lady high in a tree

Said. “come here and sit with me”.

And I feared I would fall

She said, “o! don’t you recall,

That you fell long ago with me …!”

The Divine Poetic Line

A young lady composing a poetic line

Said, “I’ll have another glass of wine

As the more I drink

The more I do think

That my poetic line is truly divine …!.

 

Matt’s Cat

When an elderly gentleman named Matt

Said, “have you seen my cat?”,

A man called Hogg

Spoke of his dog,

And me? I ate my hat!