Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Lout

When a young man eating a sprout

Went and called me an uncouth lout,

I said to Lou,

“Pass me that shoe!

I’ll give that young man a clout!”

 

Flow

I know a young lady named Flow.

Her husband he left some time ago.

We laugh and drink

And sometimes I think,

On that strange lump in Flow’s patio …

There Once Was a Young Person of Woking

There once was a young person of Woking

Who had a very bad habit of poking,

Until they poked an old man

Who said, “I’ve got a plan,

To kick you around the town of Woking!”.

 

 

Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme

There once was a poet named Lyme

Who taught his dog how to rhyme.

In the depths  of dark

He would howl and bark

And his dog would recite a rhyme.

Seals and High-Heels

A young lady who wore only high-heels

Had a fondness for swimming with seals.

An old vicar called Glass

Said, “we are but grass.

But I’m fond of seals and high-heels!”

There Once Was a Bishop Known as Ted

There once was a bishop known as Ted

Who, being found with his mistress in bed

Said, “if I had time

I would most certainly resign!

But its so very comfortable in this bed!”

Gwen Who Works in a Dodgy Gambling Den

I know a young lady named Gwen

Who works in a dodgy gambling den.

When she spins the wheel

All the money she steals,

So she’s loaded is my girlfriend Gwen …!

So I’m dating that young lady Gwen!

The Beauty of Dawn

There was a young lady named Dawn

Who danced nude on the vicarage lawn.

The vicar’s wife Hocking

Found it most shocking

And the vicar he studied Dawn’s form.

Gale and the Whale

There once was a girl named Gale

Who got swallowed by a large whale.

But her heels being sharp

He said, “for my part,

I wish I had swallowed a snail!”

The Latest Fashion

Awaking after a night of passion

With a young lady of fashion,

I said to her, “Lou!

We’ve been sleeping in glue!”

She said, “it’s the latest fashion!”