I met a young lady named Lou
Who lay bathing in Irish Stew.
When I played on my flute
She said, “do you like beetroot?
And do join me in this stew!”
I met a young lady named Lou
Who lay bathing in Irish Stew.
When I played on my flute
She said, “do you like beetroot?
And do join me in this stew!”
I know a young lady named Lou
Who got stuck in a pot of glue.
When I said, “you’re a snob!”
She called me a yob!
She’s always been stuck up has Lou!
A man who calls himself James
Is known by many other names.
Some call him Nevile
And others the Devil –
I’ve seen James dance in flames!
When a young lady wearing a vest
Said, “do you like my chest?”
I said, “its so good to touch.
Do tell me, are you Dutch?”
And I stroked that fine wooden chest!
When a young lady said with delight,
“I am challenging you to a fight!”
I said to her, “Claire!
I am washing my hair!”
She said, “you did that last night!”
When I saw the good vicar Large
Making love to young women on a barge,
I just couldn’t stop grinning
And spoke of his sinning!
He said, “you’re paid to steer this barge!”
When I met the devil in a pub
I said, “have you come in for grub?”
He said, “the barmaid is pretty
And you sir are most witty!
But alas! This pub it has no grub!
There once was an author named Dickens
Who wrote a novel all about chickens.
It lay undiscovered for years
Among some old bottled beers
And a spinster who kept drunken chickens!
There once was a young man named Mole
Who said, “I believe you have no soul!”
An old person called Neville
Said “I’m not the devil!”
And his eyes they blazed like hot coal …!
A young lady who is really most cerebral
Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”
I said to her, Jane,
You have a great brain,
But your manners they are really most terrible!”