Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Lou’s Irish Stew

I met a young lady named Lou

Who lay bathing in Irish Stew.

When I played on my flute

She said, “do you like beetroot?

And do join me in this stew!”

 

Lou Who Got Stuck in Glue

I know a young lady named Lou

Who got stuck in a pot of glue.

When I said, “you’re a snob!”

She called me a yob!

She’s always been stuck up has Lou!

 

A Man Who Calls Himself James

A man who calls himself James

Is known by many other names.

Some call him Nevile

And others the Devil –

I’ve seen James dance in flames!

A Fine Chest

When a young lady wearing a vest

Said, “do you like my chest?”

I said, “its so good to touch.

Do tell me, are you Dutch?”

And I stroked that fine wooden chest!

 

When a Young Lady Challenged me to a Fight

When a young lady said with delight,

“I am challenging you to a fight!”

I said to her, “Claire!

I am washing my hair!”

She said, “you did that last night!”

Vicar Large and the Barge

When I saw the good vicar Large

Making love to young women on a barge,

I just couldn’t stop grinning

And spoke of his sinning!

He said, “you’re paid to steer this barge!”

 

When I Met the Devil in a Pub

When I met the devil in a pub

I said, “have you come in for grub?”

He said, “the barmaid is pretty

And you sir are most witty!

But alas! This pub it has no grub!

Chickens and Bottled Beer

There once was an author named Dickens

Who wrote a novel all about chickens.

It lay undiscovered for years

Among some old bottled beers

And a spinster who kept drunken chickens!

No Soul

There once was a young man named Mole

Who said, “I believe you have no soul!”

An old person called Neville

Said “I’m not the devil!”

And his eyes they blazed like hot coal …!

 

Cerebral

A young lady who is really most cerebral

Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”

I said to her, Jane,

You have a great brain,

But your manners they are really most terrible!”