When I joined a website called Virgin Dating
The ad said, “its time to stop waiting!”.
I have had many a date
With a young lady named Kate.
And, my dear readers, I am still waiting …
Tag Archives: k morris poet
My New Girlfriend’s Shoes
Whilst drunk on very cheap booze
I borrowed my new girlfriend’s shoes.
I walked all around
This familiar old town.
And lost my girlfriend and shoes!
I make Her Mine
I make her mine
With a kiss.
But no,
It is not so.
For her mind
Runs free
Of me.
And behind
All the gloss,
Hides innocence
Half lost.
Izzy
I know a gorgeous lady named Izzy
Who, on account of being incredibly busy
Sent her rather plain cousin Kate
To meet me for a date.
But I had arranged to see Izzy!
Paul the Anarchist
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
And he wrote lots of stuff.
And governments took no notice of Paul.
—
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
Until governments said, “that’s enough!
You have bored us into submission, Paul!”.
From The Selected Poems of K Morris
In the restaurant, it’s just the waiter and I;
While outside the window
Vehicles speed by.
“There are a lot of beautiful women outside today,”
He remarks by way
Of conversation.
I drink
My wine and think
About this nation
On whose empire the sun would never set.
Kipling may regret;
Yet,
The sun continues to shine
And there is curry
And wine,
Whilst in the street
Multiracial feet
Hurry along
Beating out a more or less harmonious song.
—
“Kipling May Regret” can be found in my “Selected Poems”, which is available in paperback or as a Kindle download https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07WW8WXPP/
When A Young Lady Named Miss Doyle
When a young lady named Miss Doyle
Said, “have you seen my massage oil?”.
I said, “your behaviour is truly shocking!
I can hear the good vicar knocking!
Ah, that’s why you want the oil!”.
When An Elderly Spinster Named Jean
When an elderly spinster named Jean
Called me a wicked old libertine.
My new friend Miss Hocking
Said, “I’ve lost my stocking.
And Jean, what is a libertine?”.
Sex Positive
“I am sex positive”, she said”,
As she lay upon the bed.
She teased
And pleased.
And made his day.
This was all okay,
As she
Was truly
“Sex positive. While he,
Paid a little fee
Hot Buttered Toast
As I strolled home at a little after midnight
I met with a young lady dressed in white.
She sat on a post
Eating delicious hot buttered toast.
And she offered me some at just after midnight …